1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.
8. Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.
Mayor Of "Poserville"
<----- Current Avatart Is *NWS*
Kawi=Junk™, Honda=Boring™, Suzuki=Wannabes™, Yamaha=Posers™, Ducati=Overrated™, Aprilia=Insecure™, BMW=Compensation™, Harley Davidson=Garbage™, Buell=See Harley™
rain? whats that!
I've done this intentionally, it works great! (for about 3 minutes - then you have to find something else to mutilate on your body)....your body processes pain in degrees of severity.
Originally Posted by PUREVIL
Try not to hit a nail, I dont know whats worse: a tooth that is on fire or a smashed nail that just wont fall off your finger.
Last edited by REVELATIONS; 07-19-2005 at 02:40 PM.