rules from males to females
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Thread: rules from males to females

  1. #1
    space for sale Array
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    rules from males to females

    > > We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
    > > Now, here are the rules from the male side.
    > >
    > > These are our rules!
    > >
    > > Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
    > >
    > > 1.Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
    > > put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't
    > > hear us crying about you leaving it down.
    > >
    > > 1.Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not
    > > quest's to see if we can find the perfect present, yet again!
    > >
    > > 1.Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live
    > > with it.
    > >
    > > 1.Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the
    > > changing of the tides. Let it be.
    > >
    > > 1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive
    > > than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married
    > > is that women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
    > >
    > > 1.Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never
    > > going to think of it that way.
    > >
    > > 1.Crying is blackmail.
    > >
    > > 1.Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
    > > Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
    > > Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
    > >
    > > 1.We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and
    > > anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
    > >
    > > 1.Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you
    > > think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty,
    > > would look good with your dress.
    > >
    > > 1.Yes and No, are perfectly acceptable answers to
    > > almost every question.
    > >
    > > 1.Come to us with a problem, only if you want help solving it.
    > > That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
    > >
    > > 1.A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
    > >
    > > 1.Check your oil! Please.
    > >
    > > 1.Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    > > In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
    > >
    > > 1.If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
    > > girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
    > >
    > > 1.If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
    > > ask us. We refuse to answer.
    > >
    > > 1.If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
    > > and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
    > >
    > > 1.Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
    > >
    > > 1.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want
    > > it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just
    > > do it yourself.
    > >
    > > 1.Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
    > > say during commercials.
    > >
    > > 1.Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and
    > > neither do we.
    > >
    > > 1.The relationship is never going to be like it was
    > > the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit
    > > whining to your girlfriends.
    > >
    > > 1.ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    > > Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a
    > > fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
    > >
    > > 1.If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
    > >
    > > 1.We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
    > > mind-reading ability is NOT proof of how little we care
    > > about you.
    > >
    > > 1.If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act
    > > like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just
    > > not worth the hassle.
    > >
    > > 1.If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
    > > expect an answer you don't want to hear.
    > >
    > > 1.When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
    > >
    > > 1.Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
    > > prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun
    > > pattern formation, or monster trucks.
    > >
    > > 1.You have enough clothes.
    > >
    > > 1.You have too many shoes.
    > >
    > > 1.Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
    > > (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really
    > > matter what the hell they're saying any way.)
    > >
    > > 1.It is neither in your best interest or ours to
    > > take the quiz together.
    > >
    > > 1.No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
    > >
    > > 1.BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
    > >
    > > 1.Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep
    > > on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind
    > > that, it's like camping.

  2. #2
    '04 R1 - You are mine! Array FloMan's Avatar
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    Yes please! Oh! That wasn't a question?
    Finally some one had the brains and balls to make a public statement...Good show Man!...LOL
    “Your failure to be informed does not make me a wacko.”
    -John Loeffler


    “The truth will set you free, but first it will make you sick.”
    -Unknown

  3. #3
    KawBoy
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    Printing off 10 copies to leave around the house! thx

  4. #4
    Registered User Array Human's Avatar
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    ummm lol, really good stuff but just a note, I would like to say it before the opposite sex points it out :


    1.Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.



    Columbus was looking or intended to find a sea route to the silk and spices of South east asia not the Americas...
    2001 ZX6R
    WMRC #32 Amateur

  5. #5
    David
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    Originally posted by Human
    ummm lol, really good stuff but just a note, I would like to say it before the opposite sex points it out :


    1.Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.



    Columbus was looking or intended to find a sea route to the silk and spices of South east asia not the Americas...
    Oh you traitor!!!!
    As always, something more substancial and rewarding was found in the process!!!
    Last edited by David; 08-26-2002 at 05:03 PM.

  6. #6
    HAAAAARRRRRRRR Array Mischa's Avatar
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    One word: CLASSIC
    Rage. Its my drug of choice.

  7. #7
    Vertigo
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    i disagree with the one about shoes. i love shoes. i think i have 10 or 15 pairs. my gf has like 4 and laughs about how i have so many, and how they all look the same. black shelltoes, white with black shelltoes, white with blue shelltoes, white stan smiths.... old school adidas are awesome.

  8. #8
    builder of bikes Array cosworth's Avatar
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    Re: rules from males to females

    Originally posted by SMZ
    1.If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
    Oh yeah baby.. I don't take the bait anymore.

    Columbus>> Human.. the point is that men are perceived as being lost.. and many times we are. But we are navigating and will find something of value eventually. Just don't make us stop and ask someone who has no freaking idea where the bridal shower on Fernwood Ave is either.

  9. #9
    Moderator Array spinko's Avatar
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    already email to the girlfriend. THANX!
    BCSB- Moderator
    Spink.ca

  10. #10
    RedDragoN
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    I got this a while ago in my e-mail. The very first thing I did was e-mail it to every chick I know!

  11. #11
    Registered User Array Miteorite's Avatar
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    amen!

  12. #12
    Registered User Array Digi168's Avatar
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    Well said, just need a wallet size copy to hand out.
    WMRC #749

    THE WORLD IS GOING CRAZY
    "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the 3 most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'"

    -Chris Rock

  13. #13
    Member #827 Array CrotchRocketeer's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Vertigo
    i disagree with the one about shoes. i love shoes. i think i have 10 or 15 pairs. my gf has like 4 and laughs about how i have so many, and how they all look the same. black shelltoes, white with black shelltoes, white with blue shelltoes, white stan smiths.... old school adidas are awesome.

  14. #14
    Back Again!! Array bugs's Avatar
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  15. #15
    RedDragoN
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