What kind of FOB are u?
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Thread: What kind of FOB are u?

  1. #1
    Registered User Array
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    Jan 2005
    SP 125..02 f4i

    What kind of FOB are u?

    thought some ppl mite get a kick outa this..

    Young Asians come in many forms. Below are the major categories.
    Most Asians fit into multiple groups. For example, Rice-boys can also be
    Fobs and many Tabs are Fobulous. The only groups that are never part of
    another group are the Twinkies and the Asian-Americans. Claim your
    Fobbiness! When you see your Asian friend, greet them with "Wassup Fob!"
    And if your Asian friend says something ridiculous, say "Fob please!" Of
    course, when a non-Asian calls you a Fob, that is grounds for a fight. Ahahaha...
    The categories below are to be taken lightheartedly. Read, recognize and laugh.


    - Besides your nationality, there is little to distinguish you from white people
    - Your significant other is not Asian and never has been
    - You have few Asian friends, if any
    - You are embarrassed at family events because you cannot speak
    your language and everyone has to switch to English to communicate with you
    - You have no idea that the other types of Asians on this list even exist
    - You think Hello Kitty is dumb and do not know what Sanrio is
    - You are the only Asian on this list that does not know what Bubble Tea is
    - You drive a Ford or some other domestic car and if you drive a Honda, it is stock


    - You claim yourself as Asian, but real Asians think you're whitewashed and non-Asians see you as a foreigner. You fit in nowhere
    - You have heard of Bubble Tea but have never actually had any
    - You are confused about your cultural identity and express this frustration through spoken word performances at your college
    - You read A. magazine and think it's great
    - You do not know who Leon, Aaron, Sammi, Hikki, or Kangta are
    - You are only vaguely aware of
    the other Asians below

    Fob (Fresh Off tha Boat)

    - You were not born in America
    - You know who Leon, Aaron, Sammi, Hikki, and Kangta are. In fact, you have seen them at Atlantic City or Las Vegas recently
    - You speak your native language fluently and so do all your friends
    - You do not have any non-Asian friends
    - Your parents do not speak any English
    - When you speak English, you like to make everything plural
    - You get extremely good grades in school
    - You cannot dance
    - Your fashion sense comes from whatever country you're from and you incorporate nothing from American fashion into your wardrobe


    - Your command of the English language is minimal and you don't care
    - You like dim sum chicken feet
    - You do not own a single CD, VCD, Video game, or DVD that isn't bootlegged
    - Your only hangout is Chinatown

    - All the lights in your house are fluorescent
    - You dry your cloths outside your window
    - You need a haircut
    - You either smell like cigarettes or food


    - You are an Asian-American or Twinkie who has recently "awoken"
    - You have a newly found fetish of Asian girls/boys
    - You have taken the Asian Studies course at college
    - You are trying to learn as much as possible about your culture to make up for your lifetime of trying to be white (Twinkie ; Banana) or Black (Chigger; Thousand year old egg)
    - If you are lucky, you will grow to become Fobulous

    Gangsta Fob

    - You have shot another Asian
    - Your favorite hangout is a pool hall
    - When you talk, you sound like a cross between a Fob and an urban black kid
    - Your hair looks silly, but no one will tell you because you'll shoot them
    - You have a serious
    gambling problem
    - You are a Rice-boy, but your mods are cheap and are never painted to match the rest of your car
    - No one tells you your rice ride looks cheap because you'll shoot them
    - You want to have a Tab girlfriend, but can only get Hoochie Tabs

    Tab (Trendy Asian Bitch)

    - You shop at A/X, Bebe, Banana Republic and Club Monaco
    - You only wear black and will occasionally wear white to "mix it up"
    - You do not weigh more than 105 lbs
    - You have never paid for dinner at a restaurant in your life
    - Platform heels are your favorite
    - You are a makeup expert, in fact, you appear completely flawless
    - You do not smile in public
    - You are the object of desire of all Asian men and you know it
    - You smoke
    - Your cell phone is completely customized
    - On the inside flip of your cell phone is a sticker picture of you and your
    - Somewhere in your purse is a Sanrio item
    - You only date Asian and will only date a boy with a nice car
    - You are often seen with Rice-boys
    - You never travel alone. You are either in the company of other Tabs or your Rice-boy boyfriend

    Hoochie Tab

    - You are an import car model
    - Your boobs are not real
    - There are naked pictures of you floating around on the internet somewhere
    - Stiletto heels are your favorite
    - Your role models are Francine Dee and Kaila Yu
    - Your boyfriend is a Gangsta Fob
    - You cheat on your boyfriend
    - Unlike most Asians, you do not do well in school


    - You speak perfect English and you are fluent in your native language
    - You have Asian friends as well as non-Asian friends
    - You listen to
    Asian pop as well as American music
    - You are equally aware of both popular American culture and Asian pop culture
    - You are a good dancer
    - You date Asian by choice even though you could rock the opposite sex of any other race
    - You are a good designer and have superior Html skills
    - For you, FOB stands for Fabulous Oriental Being
    - You have lots of Asian pride

    im not actually azn but i pretty much fit into american-asian...my white friends see me as azn cuz i have few non-azn friends but my azn friends see me as white...i guess thats what i get for goin 2 a rich westside school

  2. #2
    two wheels Array tab's Avatar
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    Jul 2004
    had '89 Suzuki GS500
    i sure hope that 'tab' label doesn't catch on cuz that's my frikkin name and i ain't no 'trendy asian bitch'!

  3. #3
    Moderator Array PUREVIL's Avatar
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  4. #4
    bastardizer Array HotWheels's Avatar
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    Sep 2002
    none, till the boys are older
    DAMMIT! I'm a twinkie.
    ... hello kitty is fuckin dumb
    "...than I'll be done and we can dance.."

  5. #5
    Dancing animals... woot Array bboylanky's Avatar
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    May 2004
    2002 SV 650
    loox like i sit in fobulous

  6. #6
    Mortgage Pimp Array J_Scott's Avatar
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    Jun 2004
    Whistler, BC
    I'm just here for the intelligent conversation.
    All your asian girls are belong to me!

    Edit: You should also add under the Fob ones
    -never pays for their own car
    -lives at home until married
    -thinks Richmond is HongKong
    -believes own culture is superior to all others and has no interest in learning anything about other cultures
    Last edited by J_Scott; 10-24-2005 at 02:20 PM.

  7. #7
    Why do they all have to be Asian?

  8. #8
    Registered User Array
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    Jan 2005
    SP 125..02 f4i
    Quote Originally Posted by Crabalocker
    Why do they all have to be Asian?
    i dunno? they just are...my friend forwarded it to me

  9. #9
    DELTA-ONE Array Kakashi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    it now looks, sounds AND rides like a cage =(
    These sorts of general stereotypes apply for all races... we have yet to read them =).

  10. #10

    What kind of whitey are you?


    - Image is everything.
    - People think you're gay.
    - Your jeans cost $200 each, but you have no car.
    - You can't set your VCR, but you know all the specs for it by heart.
    - Your hair is never its natural colour.

    White Trash

    - Your parents are proud of you because you have a job.
    - You think "American Chopper" is the greatest TV show ever.
    - Dressing up involves flannel.
    - You have owned 12 cars in 4 years of driving.
    - Spring cleanup time is like your second Christmas.


    - You don't have any clothes smaller than size XXXL.
    - You drink Colt 45.
    - The bass in your car's stereo rattles the trunk, license plate and doors.
    - Your "bling" was bought in Willowbrook Mall.
    - You can't name a single player on the team displayed by your hat.


    - Your car has more money put into it than your house.
    - You've considered a Kanji tattoo, but have no asian friends to translate.
    - You're saving up to buy either a bansai tree or a set of ninja stars.
    - If your shoes get even a little dusty, they get thrown away.
    - You have Hello Kitty shower curtains.

    White Jock

    - In high school, you were known as "gooch" or "slug".
    - You know how many yards Emmitt Smith had in Superbowl XXVIII.
    - Parties involve watching old, recorded hockey games.
    - You refuse to believe that golf is a sport.
    - Every year, you take the day off after the Grey Cup to rest.

    80's Slimebag

    - You have owned more than one camaro.
    - You have more jewelry than your wife.
    - Your stereo only plays Bon Jovi and Aerosmith.
    - You have a denim shirt for every day of the week.
    - You rent porn from the video store.

  11. #11
    Vicious Little Tree Rat Array squirly's Avatar
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    Jul 2002
    Twinkie--Asian-Canadian mix.

    It's good to know "some" aspects of your heritage, even if it's just handy when trying to impress smalltown white bread hotties at Dim Sum.

    Good Luck and Godspeed!

  12. #12
    Registered User Array SpideRider's Avatar
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    Jul 2002
    Fraser Valley
    I have no idea what kind of whitey I am.
    I own a house, I have a job, I am particular about how I dress, I dislike getting dirty unless I'm dressed for it, I'm hetrosexual, some people think I'm gay because I'm 28 and know how to dress well, I own several pairs of shoes, I love metal, rock, '80s and some rap music, I drive an old Toyota. My hair colour is occasionally changed, and I can program my own VCR and I know its specs.
    I'm so confused!!!!
    Cry in the dojo, laugh on the battlefield
    Sparring speed is a matter of simple physics:
    The height of your flight is inversely proportionate to the mass of your ass.

  13. #13
    Vicious Little Tree Rat Array squirly's Avatar
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    Jul 2002
    Quote Originally Posted by SpideRider
    I'm so confused!!!!
    You just admitted it. You're probably Bi-Curious, and tending towards full-on Gay. Give Harps a call.

    Good Luck and Godspeed!

  14. #14
    100%GOON Array Pitdogboy's Avatar
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    Feb 2005
    dirt pig
    Where is the red-neck/hillbily option?
    "Shoot to thrill play to kill
    Too many women too many pills"


  15. #15
    Learning the hard way. Array skroonk's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
    Dumpsville. Population: You.
    we prefer the term Banana

    Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube ~ Hunter S Thompson.
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