News FLASH! Words of wisdom from GW
President Bush's morning security briefing is wrapping up.
> Donald Rumsfeld is concluding his part and in a sombre tone
says, "Finally, three Brazilian soldiers were killed yesterday near
> "OH MY GOD!" shrieks Bush, and he buries his head in his hands for a seemingly interminable
30 seconds. Stunned at the unexpected display of emotion, the
president's staff sit speechless, not sure how to react.
> Finally, Bush looks up, leans over and whispers to Rumsfeld, "How
many is a brazillion?"
my turn( weird the repost nazi's havent seen this yet ?)
damn broken leg!!!!!!!
Friggin Re-post Nazi's, Eh Boarder dude?
Who cares? Every single time something is "re-posted" someone new reads it.
its my first time to say repost EVER i normally want to puke when i see it ,but i posted that joke a day a go ,and mine was better ,,so there !
i mean come on ,whos says" interminable " in a joke anyway ?
Originally Posted by busa_tom
Main Entry: in·ter·mi·na·ble
Pronunciation: (")in-'t&rm-n&-b&l, -'t&r-m&-
Etymology: Middle English, from Late Latin interminabilis, from Latin in- + terminare to terminate
Date: 15th century
: having or seeming to have no end; especially : wearisomely protracted <an interminable sermon>
- in·ter·mi·na·ble·ness noun
- in·ter·mi·na·bly /-blE/ adverb
I figured that would save me from the "re-post nazi's"
completely valid point, man
Originally Posted by borderline
Okay, a few more to make up for the repost:
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
"Jamie O'Connor and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"That little snit, O'Connor," says Sean, "he couldn't do that to you. He must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself. Didn't you have something in your hand?"
"That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Connor's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin'to tell ya."
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, no Brenda... no. Fact is, he got out three times to pee."
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father..
"The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?
She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'"
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk just sits there. Finally, the Priest
pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin; there's no paper on this side either."
done ,forgiven .hahahaahhahaahaaahahaahaahaha