This years Darwin Nominees
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: This years Darwin Nominees

  1. #1
    Registered User Array
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    I'm not telling, but Atom isn't allowed near it.

    This years Darwin Nominees


    Hard to believe, but another year has passed...For
    those who don't know it, the Darwin Awards are awarded
    every year to the person(s)who died (or almost died)
    in the stupidest way, thus enhancing the gene pool by
    their absence.

    And the nominees are:

    NOMINEE No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]:
    An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to
    break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally
    shot himself to death when the gun discharged,
    blowing a hole in his gut.

    NOMINEE No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]:
    James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, Mich., was
    killed in March as he was trying to repair what
    police describe as a "farm type truck." Burns got a
    friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns
    hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source
    of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on
    something, however, and the other man found Burns
    "wrapped in the drive shaft."

    NOMINEE No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]
    Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to
    death in December in Newton, N.C. Awakening to the
    sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he
    reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith
    Wesson .38 Special, which discharged when he drew it
    to his ear.

    NOMINEE No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]
    Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of
    windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed
    through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24
    floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry
    Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto
    Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was
    explaining the strength of the building's windows to
    visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted
    demonstration of window strength according to police
    reports. Peter Lawyers, managing partner of the firm
    Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper
    that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members
    of the 200-man association.

    NOMINEE No. 5: [Bloomburg News Service]
    A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being
    blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his
    own gas. There was no mark on his body but an autopsy
    showed large amounts of methane gas in his system.
    His diet had was just the right combination of foods.
    It appears that the man died in his sleep. Had he
    been outside or had his windows been opened, it
    wouldn't have been fatal. But the man was shut up in
    his near airtight bedroom. According to the article,
    "He was a big man with a huge capacity for creating
    this deadly gas." Three of the rescuers got sick and
    one was hospitalized.

    NOMINEE No. 6: [The News of the Weird]
    Michael Anderson Godwin made news of the Weird
    posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting
    South Carolina's electric chair on a murder
    conviction before having his sentence reduced to life
    in prison. Whilst sitting on a metal toilet in his
    cell and attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit
    into a wire and was electrocuted.

    NOMINEE NO. 7: ["The Indianapolis Star"]
    A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal
    explosion in Dunkirk, Indiana. A Jay County man using
    a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle
    loader was killed Monday night when the weapon
    discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said.
    Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural
    Dunkirk home about 11:30 pm. Investigators said Pryor
    was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle loader that had not
    been firing properly. He was using the lighter to
    look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

    NOMINEE No. 8: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]
    A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his
    condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped
    and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko,55,
    was standing on a wheeled chair when the accident
    occurred, said Inspector D'Arcy Honer of the Peel
    regional police. "It appears the chair moved and he
    went over the balcony," Honer said.

    NOMINEE No.9: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]
    Two local men were seriously injured when their
    pick-up truck left the road and struck a tree near
    Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday morning.
    Woodruff County Deputy Dovey Snyder reported the
    accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston
    Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy Ray Wallis,38, of
    Little Rock are listed in serious condition at
    Baptist Medical Center. The accident occurred as the
    two men were returning to Des Arc after a frog
    gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's
    pick-up truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men
    concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model
    truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not
    available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullet
    from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next
    to the steering wheel column. Upon inserting the
    bullet, the headlights again began to operate
    properly and the two men proceeded east-bound toward
    the White River bridge. After traveling approximately
    20 miles and just before crossing the river, the
    bullet apparently overheated, discharged an! d struck
    Poole in the right testicle. The
    vehicle swerved sharply to the right exiting the
    pavement and striking a tree. Poole suffered only
    minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will
    require surgery to repair the other wound. Wallis
    sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and
    released. "Thank God weren't on that bridge when
    Thurston shot his balls off or we might both be dead"
    Stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for ten years in
    this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I
    can't believe that those two would admit how this
    accident happened," said Snyder.
    Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia, Poole's
    wife, asked how many frogs the boys had caught and
    did anyone get them from the truck. (Way to go, Lavinia!)

  2. #2
    Registered User Array Human's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    2001 ZX6R
    Jim, how come all the nominees are male ? no wise cracks from the females now....

    Jim, you got to dig up some female nominees...Blitz, you want to tell us a story ? start of with "Once upon a time...."
    2001 ZX6R
    WMRC #32 Amateur

  3. #3
    Administrator Array adamantium's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    I wish.
    Blame this site Farhad:

    That's where it all starts.
    BCSB- Administrator

  4. #4
    Registered User Array Human's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    2001 ZX6R
    Originally posted by absolutdm
    Blame this site Farhad:

    That's where it all starts.
    I will wait for Blitz's story, I am sure it will outclass them
    2001 ZX6R
    WMRC #32 Amateur

  5. #5
    Moderator Array TeeTee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Out to pasture in the 'Wack
    04 Kawi Z1000,
    Don't know about the rest but 4 and 5 are old news. Funny stuff though.

    There's so many Darwin sites these days it's hard to know which is the official one, or at least the first one.
    A backyard mechanic without a service manual is just like a hooker without a lamp pole.... they are both in the dark.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts