Kids say the Devastatingest Things...
One day my dad picked us kids up from school, saying he had a 'surprise' for us when we got home. We were sat in the back all excited, guessing a range of things from a new T.V. to pet snakes and even dancing clowns. It came as a bit of a shock to arrive back to my mother crying and my dad announcing his departure.
At the time we went to church every Sunday morning. It must have only been a week after my dad had left that I was sat in Sunday school, aged about 6, and my very pious Sunday school teacher told us she had a surprise to tell us. I immediately stuck my hand in the hair and waved it about like a maniac, for I was sure I knew the answer! Spotting my excitement, she smiled sweetly and asked me what my guess might be:
"You've had an affair with a man and you're pregnant!"
I think what I meant to say was just the last part, but after all the conversations I'd been hearing that week, the affair part sort of just tumbled out of my mouth. I didn't even know what it meant at the time, but it was new to my vocabulary and I thought it sounded like a nice word. Anyway, being a good Christian lady, such an accusation obviously came as a shock. After literally SCREAMING at me for a good 5 minutes, then throwing me back out to the congregation, she later called my mum and told her I was possessed.
Those are some hilarious stories. Its like reading all the reader's digest rejects! Nice find!