Rules of a true guy.
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Thread: Rules of a true guy.

  1. #1
    who farted? Array Defcon-1's Avatar
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    Jul 2005
    hannspree replica double R

    Rules of a true guy.

    Rules of a True Guy

    Rule 1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
    Rule 2: It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
    a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
    b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
    c. After wrecking your boss' car.
    d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
    Rule 3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally
    killed and eaten by his buddies.
    Rule 4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a
    friend out of jail within 12 hours.
    Rule 5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
    limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
    Rule 6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is
    forbidden. However, you may complain at will if the temperature is
    Rule 7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for
    another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly
    Rule 8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not
    the weakest.
    Rule 9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you
    may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's
    Rule 10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have
    brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the
    purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
    Rule 11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when
    you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless
    supermodel... and it's free.
    Rule 12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you
    allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
    Rule 13: Unless you're in prison, never fight partially clothed or
    Rule 14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever.
    Rule 15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see
    Rule 16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as
    spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to
    drink as much as the other sports watchers.
    Rule 17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
    remain sober enough to fight.
    Rule 18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
    pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
    Rule 19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be
    talking about his choice of beer.
    Rule 20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of
    yours, unless she's withholding sex pending your response.
    Rule 21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
    a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
    b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
    c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
    Rule 22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal
    footing: both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other
    situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you
    Rule 23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on
    longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the
    phone. Hang up if necessary.
    Rule 24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a
    friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling
    weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again
    before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.
    Rule 25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable
    for her to drive yours.
    Rule 26: Thou shall not buy a car or motorcycle in the colors of brown,
    pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
    Rule 27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
    Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an
    Xbox. End of story.
    Rule 28: There is no reason for guys to watch Men's Figure Skating or
    Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
    "I used to be scared to fart in case I shit myself. But once you get comfortable shitting your pants everything changes." - Slowzuki

  2. #2
    Registered User Array SpideRider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Fraser Valley
    Always a good laugh!
    Cry in the dojo, laugh on the battlefield
    Sparring speed is a matter of simple physics:
    The height of your flight is inversely proportionate to the mass of your ass.

  3. #3
    Registered User Array scubaphil's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    99 R6
    good read
    keep posting
    If jack helped you off a horse would you help jack off a horse??

    You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

  4. #4
    "Experience" THX Rogger. Array PressurePoint's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    the Wack
    Its Naked
    lol Oh so true.

  5. #5
    ...... Array Team Green 9R's Avatar
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    Aug 2002
    I like 27.

    Rule 27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
    Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an
    Xbox. End of story.

  6. #6
    VROOOOM Array CheeChee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Prince George
    2000 CBR 600
    hahaha to funny .... i gotta print these up

  7. #7
    ALL IN Array KGB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    03 Kawasaki zx6r
    Rule 26: Thou shall not buy a car or motorcycle in the colors of brown,
    pink, ""lime green"", orange or sky blue.
    well i guess i have to fart on my girlfriend so im a man again.

  8. #8
    speed demon Array 4stroke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    05 gixer 1000
    haha you keeps it real
    1..2..3..LETS ROCK!!!

  9. #9
    ha ha ha, hilarious,really.

    my favorite are #14 & 23

  10. #10
    banned user Array adam112's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Rule 26: Thou shall not buy a car or motorcycle in the colors of brown,
    pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

    I will think of this every time I see a kawi on the road now hahaha.
    Too sexy for this forum.

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