The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary and alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the 2005 winners:
1. Cashtration (n): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
2. Intaxication (n): Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until You realize it was your money to start with.
3. Reintarnation (n): Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
4. Bozone (n): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
5. Foreploy (n): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
6. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
8. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is, like, sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido (n): All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n): The frantic dance you perform just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
18. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole