For all of you who have had a bad day and sometimes feel "why me?", here is a little story to make you
Saturday night I noticed I had some abdominal pain but I ignored it. On Sunday morning it returned but I again ignored it as we were going out for the day. Sunday night I am trying to type up some work and I can't, as the pain has increased dramatically and I notice a massive lump sticking out of my abdomen.
Off I go emergency and wait and wait and finally get seen by 3 doctors. All of them think it is a hernia from sports.
So guess what? They try to fix the hernia. No go. Let's give Wodtke some laughing gas. It will make you feel better. .....Right! You can only imagine how much fun I had.
Then I am told if they can push it back in I will have to wait 6 months for surgery!! Six months. Fantastic!
Lucky for me I am super special patient and they can't. I love being special.
So I go home at 3am, type up some TOC notes and then have to head back at 7am for rush surgery.
Sounds promising now huh??...not exactly
Well they figure if 3 tries doesn't fix it let's go for 4 and 5. I love doctors.
Now I am a freak show and everyone wants to come peek at the freak with the lump hanging out of his lower abdomen. Well, they are very worried and assure me that I will operated on very very soon.
Soon to me means 1-2 hrs. Try 18 hours later.
So I wait and wait, with my new friends: old lady who has every illness known to man, kidney stone buddy, crack head boy, grumpy old agitated man, stupid boy who though he was an Ultimate Fighting Championship contender but lost a $30 fight bet, and finally my favorite: cranky old nurse who had the most “charming” personality .
Well a number of hours later, I don't recall exactly how many as I was so fascinated with this dot on the ceiling (no TV) that I completely lost track of time, a very nice surgeon comes in and looks at me. Apparently the other 5 doctors are wrong and my hernia is not a hernia at all but a nice giant swelling of fluid trapped below my muscle layer. So pushing on it was as effective as cutting your own hair. Did I mention I love doctors?
In between waiting for surgegy, my IV bag is empty and my machine starts ringing an alarm. I push the magical help button, which I am sure is really nothing but decoration, just to make me feel better when I know noone is coming anyways.
Well someone does come! Oh wait..my mistake. He needed to use the phone in my room for a personal call. I ask again if he could help me. Looks at me and leaves without saying a word. Thanks guy!
Well, another 8 hours later (with having not eaten or drunken anything for 25 hours) I get to go in for surgery. Yaaaaah!
Guess what they forgot?
My consent form. If I had woken and I was suddenly a bigger cup size then there would have been problems. But lucky for them (and me) they did the right job so I reminded them I needed to sign the consent form.
When I finally got home I discover that they also gave me a suppository but forgot to tell me. I love surprises!!
So there you have it. A brilliant trip to the hospital that only a fool would pass on.
I wonder if any member from our government have had the pleasure of dealing with our public health care system first hand. This experience has shown me how much we value our health care and education system in this province.
I apologize if I made you envious.