Okay... I'm a newbie, and so far I think I've mostly done the right things - got most of the gear first, then took a course to get my licence, and finally got the bike (Lola has a new shiny mirror now - the one that broke off on Seymour just wasn't gonna cut it any more - electrical tape just isn't sticky enough! ). However, I've been slightly squid-ish (not really a word, but I don't care as this is my post!) and so I've been looking for leather riding pants to complete the gear.
So I go into a particular shop on Granville Island to check out what they've got, and grab a pair of Joe Rocket pants and a pair of ICON's and head over to the change room. I'm not going to say what size I was trying on because, really, that would only make me feel bad, and I don't want to do that. Anyways, I struggle into the Joe Rockets... and it probably would have been more helpful if I had realized that the zipper had more to go when I first started the trying on process... get them done up, turn around to take a look at how they look in the mirror, and WHAT THE FUK? MY ASS IS FREAKIN' HUGE!
Now, I don't know what I expected to happen when I tried the pants on - apparently I had some weird notion in my head that my derrier would somehow become this cute, pert size 4 little thing looking like 2 perfect round apples side by side . NOT THE CASE! So needless to say that I peel them off in record time then stand in the change room looking around for the other woman who snuck in with me, as this is clearly what happened... there's no way that could be my bum! Finding that she mysteriously disappeared, I feel brave enough to try on the ICON pants. Easier to get into, but then I make the mistake of looking in the mirror again... turning around to check out my rear end... HOLY CRAP - SHE'S BACK... WITH THE BIG ASS!!!
Where did this woman come from? How the hell did she get into my changing room twice without me seeing her?
Oh. Oh shit. It's me. I'm the one with the big ass. Well, crap. I guess this can only mean one thing... as soon as I buy the pants I'll rip out the size tag and then I can pretend to be any bloody size I want!
Either that, or get my big ass back to the gym!