Shameless cut and pasted from

Your alarm goes off, you hit the snooze and sleep for another 10 minutes.

He stays up for days on end. Enjoys the sound of alarm clocks smashing into the far wall. Gets up anyways.

You take a warm shower to help you wake up.

He staggers forth and cleans himself with shop rags dipped in Safe-T-Klean

You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.

He can still hear the air-grinder two days later.

You put on the Team Ducati shirt you paid $85 for, and go meet up with your friends.

He saves his last clean Michelin shirt, that he got for free, for family weddings and funerals.

You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket.

He is afraid to answer the phone because the chances are he owes money to the other end

You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you.

He calls his buddy a "no hope squid" on the starting grid, and will run over him for traction if that is what it takes. His buddy will understand.

You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.

He does plug chops in the streets, searching for cops and drunks in cross streets

You complain about how hot it is.

He wears his heavy gear, not caring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow...and checks out the factory guys brolly-dolly's ass

You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong

It's Friday midnight, and the damn custom sprockets have the wrong bolt pattern.......again

Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.

He is shagging your maid. She pretended it was Rossi.

You go to the mall and get your hair redone.

He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today. Well, actually he did. He is a racer, not a pig

You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.

He's told he will be held on the line while the corner workers, once again, remove the oil from turn 1. Maybe they will get most of it this time. He is on his third re-start on a dry clutch that was good for one

You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.

He waits for your girlfriend to get home from your date, and then calls her. No use feeding her twice. She pretends he's Rossi. He finishes off her "Doggy" bag that you paid for. Best food he has had in a month.

You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.

He grabs a $20 for gas and leaves an IOU in her purse

You roll your eyes as a baby cries.

He made your baby cry with that last plug chop

You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.

He has no fucking idea what you are whinging about. He hasn't read anything but tech manuals and Cycle News for years, and if you told him we were conquered by Martians his reaction would be: "Well, we are still running Portland this weekend, right?"

You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.

He does exactly what he is told, well......, except he came back with pre-mix and fresh plugs instead of milk and eggs

You stay at home and watch TV.

He hasn't owned a TV in years except the one at the shop, which still uses vacuum tubes, and you change the channels with needle-nosed pliers

You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable

He can sleep anywhere, anytime 15 minutes presents itself. It rarely does, but that is OK as his sheets are a little....well....knarly