For a cold hump day... The Stoned monkey
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Thread: For a cold hump day... The Stoned monkey

  1. #1
    DELTA-ONE Array Kakashi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    it now looks, sounds AND rides like a cage =(

    For a cold hump day... The Stoned monkey

    Got this from a friend.

    A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past.
    The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! What are you doing?"
    The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded

    So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have
    another joint.

    After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going
    to get a drink from the river.

    At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over
    and falls in.

    A crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him
    to the side.

    He then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?!"

    The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree,
    smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his
    mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a
    drink from the river, he fell in!

    The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out.

    He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is
    sitting, finishing a joint.

    He looks up and says "Hey, MONKEY!"

    The monkey looks down and says "FUUUUUCK, DUDE....... how much water
    did you drink?"

  2. #2
    The Philosopher King Array Frapps's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    North Vancouver
    83 RG250 Gamma//95Kawi ZX6
    A rabbit is running through a field when he comes across a hyena smoking pot.He says oh Mr. Hyena why would you do that. It’s a beautiful day put down that joint and coming running through the field with me. The hyena throws down the joint and they go running through the field.

    All of a sudden they come across an elephant with black bags under his eyes just getting ready to do a big line of pure Bolivian white gold.

    The rabbit said ohh Mr. Elephant how could you do that to your self, you look terrible you sold your ivory tusks for cocaine, you need to get back in touch with Mother Nature it’s a beautiful day coming running through the fields with me and Mr. Hyena.

    The Elephant gets up and starts running through the fields enjoying the sunshine when the group comes across a weathered old Lion who is about to hard line some heroin right into his arm.

    The rabbit says ohhh Mr. Lion look at you, look at what drugs have done to the most proud creature in the world, your mane is gone, you weigh nothing, and Mr Elephant says he saw you by the highway turning tricks.

    What do you have to say for your self without warning the lion eats the rabbit the other animals are shocked and the lion turns to them and says…“fucking rabbit was on ecstasy”
    G.B. Shaw: We are made wise not by the recollection of our past but by the responsibility for our future
    Miguel Ruiz: Death is not the biggest fear we have our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive and express what we really are

  3. #3
    Registered User Array clickarmy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    01 f4i
    good ones

  4. #4
    Medium Pimpin' Array ORYX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    White Rock
    A red one
    Lol, the lizard joke almsot made me fall straight off the back of my chair. :P
    Originally posted by adamantium
    I'm going to type this slowly so that you folk can follow along.
    Quote Originally Posted by CHIA View Post
    I agree with you about the internet, it's probably here to stay.

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