Ok guys...this is my last thread. I don't want to overstay my welcome and I definately don't want to lose track of why I started posting here in the first place ; to honor Rick and remind us all that life is short.
2006 has been, by far, the most terrifying and challenging year of my life.
On February 11, 2006, I was having lunch at my parents house with our 5month old son Coen, while my husband Rick was on a ride to Squamish with his friend Marcus and my brother Graham.
At 12:34pm Rick lowsided and slid into oncoming traffic. He was run over and instantly killed by an oncoming Ford 350. My brother who was following him, took the brunt of the debris and flew over his handlebars and was violently pinned under another truck. He was critically insured and was clinging to life.
We got a call from VGH at around 1:30. They said my brother had been in an accident and to come see him immediately. As we drove there, I remember it was unlike Rick to not have called. I called his cell...and Marcus's cell... and there was no answer.
When we got to VGH, we were pushed into a private room for 1 hour. We all knew something was very wrong, but we didn't know what. The anticipation made me sick to my stomach.
After 1 hour, my Dad spotted the helicopter pilots that had brought my brother to the hospital. He asked where the other two riders were, and they said "one rider walked away with no injury... and there was one casualty."
I begged the social worker to tell me who it was that died, but she couldn't tell me. At this point, I pushed myself into the unauthorized emergency unit, still with my son Coen in my arms, and ran over to my brother Graham.
I went right up to his face anf asked " did Rick die !? "
Half conscious... he said "i don't know"
Then I asked again.
He still said " i don't know"
So I asked " did Markus die ? "
And he said "no."
I can't remember what happened next. All I know is I held my son and screamed until I was ushered out of the emergency unit.
It has been 10 months since that day. Since then, I have been given a whole new perspective on life.
I used to think that if you were a good person, that good things would happen to you. Rick and I were good people. We had everything going for us, we truly loved and respected eachother and we had so many plans for the future.
Now I realize that tragedy is unbiased and that anyone can be a victim to it. I realize that while I feel I am living my worst nightmare, it actually could be way worse.
When you lose your husband, your whole life is stripped away from you. You go from wife to widow, family to single mother, financially independant to single income and not quite getting by. Your couple friends feel sorry for you, your single friends wonder why you haven't moved on yet. You are judged by your grieving. People think it is an open invitation to tell you how you should be coping. You are more vulnerable than ever before.
I lived for my family and for my husband. While I have lost my soulmate and Coen has lost his Dad, Coen and I move forward and will try to live our lives to the fullest. Just like we would have had Rick still been around.
Let's make 2007 a better year than 2006. Remember that each time you get on your bike you are risking your life. If my story stops you from riding outside your skill level or makes you think twice about speeding excessively, or makes you take a cab home when you have been drinking...well then my posts have done something worthwhile.
Happy holidays and here is to 2007