Caught for speeding:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The
guy replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop
finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
And some others...
"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you
wear them awhile."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
" So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will
help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again
or I'll give you another ticket."
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now
we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"Just how big were those two beers?"
"In God we trust, all others are suspects."