Anyone who knows me would consider me to be basically non-aggressive, shy and retiring. Kinda the "anti-asshole." But for some reason I get such a kick out of messing with people at the bike show.
At the "Boss Hoss" display. I had to ask inane questions. "You made this bike yourself, didn't you? Looks almost like a production bike."
Guy gets angry as he proceeds to tell me it is a production bike.
"Looks really heavy!"
Guy explains how anyone can hold it up.
"So, what are the 1/4 mile times? Like high 13's?"
Guy proudly explains how it can actually run high 12's.
"So, it's prolly like one of the fastest cruisers here?"
He says it is the fastest cruiser ever. Guess he doesn't consider a Yamaha Warrior, a VRod or a Speed 3 cruisers.
"It's fast, but not like 600 Honda fast, is it?"
Guy proceeds to start to turn purple. Then I walk away.
Walk to Harley booth. Find a guy with Harley Baseball hat, Harley jacket and Harley shoes (they're everywhere). Ask innocently "So, what kind of bike you got?" 9 times out of 10, they answer
"I don't have a bike, but I am going to get a (insert whatever piece of crap here)."
Innocently still, "so, then what kind of bike did you used to have? "
"I have never had a bike."
"Ohhh." Then eye all of their Harley stuff.
At the chopper display. "So where is the rear suspension?"
"It doesn't have one."
The list of answers is really funny.
At the Harley booth again. Find one of the ones with midpegs. Sit on it. Exclaim loudly "Finally one with normal pegs." Count how many people explain to you the feet forward style is 'normal.'
At the Harley booth. "I wonder how fast it would go if you took all that crap off it."
Finally there is my favourite. Get on cruiser, put your feet on the pegs, and comment loudly but Sotto Voice "Reminds me, I gotta see the gynaecologist." Since I am male, the looks are even more poisonous.