Working on some Harley bashing here. Help me develop this thought.
"If People treated their houses like a Harley"
--wear tshirts, ballcaps and jackets with pictures of their house on it.
--instead of buying a reasonalby priced house in a nice neighborhood, buy a decaying old slum in the worst part of town "because it is more authentic." Proceed to spend 5x the market value to buy the house.
--proceed to tear all of the insulation out of the house "to hear the wind noise"
--rip furnace out of house and replace with a coal burning fireplace, like in "the golden age of houses"
--immediately rip the bathroom out of the house and replace with a brick outhouse in the backyard (get a real house, you pussy). Replace bathroom with a walkin humidor and liquor cabinet.
--loudly exclaim how their house is better. When pressed for details claim "unless you own one, you wouldn't understand."
--refuse to live in a house at all while claiming they are "saving to get a real house."
--dress like a clown and sit in their living room with a scowl on their face.
--eschewing amenities like kitchens, beds, etc, proceed to decorate their house with tacky lawn ornaments (purchased from original builder of house at 100x market value. Note tacky lawn ornaments are made in China.
--when house leaks sewage all over the neighborhood, claim "they all do that."
--buy a pitbull. chain it in yard of the house.
Or well. I guess this didn't really work. And my description of the house sounds depressingly like most of Mission and Surrey.