How to avoid some of the drama - kinda long
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Thread: How to avoid some of the drama - kinda long

  1. #1
    Crotch Rocket Scientist Array penumbra604's Avatar
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    Oct 2006
    2001 Yamaha FZ1

    Cool How to avoid some of the drama - kinda long

    Given the number of posts about the drama and infighting here over the last week, I thought it might help a few people to read a different perspective on how to avoid some of it.

    There will always be drama but it can be reduced. I have learned over the years that staying out of some arguments is the best way to deal with them but they don't really need to happen in the first place. I have a few lessons learned that may help some of you, and they may not. It's still only going to cost you a few seconds of your time so it's probably worth a look.

    1. Don't take things personally - even if they seem targetted at you. "Poseurs own Yamahas". Well most of the owners of that bike would disagree. Someone making that statement could be joking, or just trying to provoke people or kidding. Arguing the point or entering a rant about Honda owners is just asking for drama. Just take it as a joke if you can, or politely disagree.

    2. A rule I now use in traffic is to not judge people by a stupid move. EVERYONE does something dumb or inattentive once in a while. Even those with a lot of experience may not be in the right headspace, may be distracted by their passenger or whatever. It allows me to calm down a lot in traffic despite the absolute bonehead moves you can't help but see on the road. When I make a mistake, I don't want someone thinking that I am stupid, uncaring or unsafe all of the time.

    On a forum - we shouldn't judge others by a few posts. It's easy to make the assumptions based on spelling, choice of words and attitude - but you aren't sitting on the other end of the computer with them. You also know that text is much harder to communicate in then face to face modes because we lack all of the social cues. Repeated posts that are inflammatory do tend to highlight the online character of someone and it's easy to assume that in real life they are jerks too - but the 'net offers some protection from others that lets a lot of people shoot their mouths off. Don't rise to it. Staying calm and posting a polite rebuttal shows a lot more character and helps your credibility.

    3. It's mostly impossible to argue someone into submission. Given that two people have wildly different points of view - it's unlikely that your logic is going to throw a chokehold on theirs. Make an effort to get your point out to others (not necessarily the opposing person) and then exit the thread with some dignity. "I've said my piece and you're clearly not convinced, but hopefully others can see where I'm coming from. I think that's all I can say on this." -- there's no winning on the Internet.

    4. Don't lower yourself to making personal or inflammatory attacks against people. It's ok to do it to your buddies, but doing it to someone you don't know or only engage online is like hitting the "DRAMA PLEASE" button.

    5. Avoid language that could be misconstrued or inflammatory. Retarded springs to mind for example.

    6. If you're making a joke that could be misconstrued, put a smiley in to ensure it's taken as a joke.

    I do on occasion lose it despite my best intentions but find that most people respond better to my posts when I am calm and polite. Everyone needs to go for a ride and chill....damned weather needs to cooperate though.

    I get a lot of value from BCSB (chain lube thread is pure gold for example) and would hate to see a lot of the old-timers leave due to the increasing flaming going on here. Thanks!
    2001 Black Yamaha FZ1

  2. #2
    banned user Array adam112's Avatar
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    Nov 2005
    Too sexy for this forum.

  3. #3
    Mortgage Pimp Array J_Scott's Avatar
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    Jun 2004
    Whistler, BC
    I'm just here for the intelligent conversation.
    I agree... and it's a good thread.

    I'm trying to spin a positive note on my posts and I find doing that can turn a thread around.

    BCSB has not gone to shit... There are great people on here.

    EDIT: Especially that wonderful person above me. *kisses*

  4. #4
    RS 03.08.74 ~ 02.11.06 Array Rick's wife's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Quote Originally Posted by penumbra604 View Post

    1. Don't take things personally

    3. It's mostly impossible to argue someone into submission. Given that two people have wildly different points of view - it's unlikely that your logic is going to throw a chokehold on theirs.

    I am still working on lesson 1 and 3... but getting better at at it
    Very well written. Thanks for the reminders...
    Last edited by Rick's wife; 03-02-2007 at 09:33 AM.

  5. #5
    Excommunicated Array Bondo's Avatar
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    Apr 2004
    That is exactly what we are trying to accomplish here on BCSB.

    There is a wealth of knowledge out there and we want to bring it to a place where it can be passed onto rider's who need it.

    Joking is fine.

    However when people are deleting their own threads because they have been hijacked soo badly they have lost any significance, is not.

    You are correct Penum. Flaming is a 2 way street and if more people did not respond to remarks that they found offense, I believe it would cut down on the useless flaming quite a bit.

    Most of the people I ride with are no longer on this site. That is too bad.
    The self proclaimed "old timers" are the most useful resource we have on here. and I also would hate to see people leaving the site because it has turned into a elementary school playground.

    That being said , pray for sunshine.
    In the end, this argument falls into the vanity arena. Which is more important: Your safety and comfort on a bike or what your friends think?

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