Mustard Anyone?? This is Awesome!!
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Thread: Mustard Anyone?? This is Awesome!!

  1. #1
    Angel Girl

    Mustard Anyone?? This is Awesome!!

    As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard.

    The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the
    table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.

    "Hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said.

    I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

    I love mustard.

    I had no napkin.

    I licked it off.

    It was not mustard.

    No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding.
    With a washcloth in each hand I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.

    Later (after she stopped crying from laughing so hard) my wife said, "Now you know why they call that mustard "Poupon.'"

  2. #2
    Registered User Array SpideRider's Avatar
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    Jul 2002
    Fraser Valley
    Cry in the dojo, laugh on the battlefield
    Sparring speed is a matter of simple physics:
    The height of your flight is inversely proportionate to the mass of your ass.

  3. #3
    Registered User Array polared's Avatar
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    Sep 2002
    Oh dear lord!!!!
    Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

  4. #4
    Devil's Advocate Array RoadBlur's Avatar
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    Feb 2002
    The slums of new west
    Suzuki XV 2182
    Lol I remember the first time my baby sister shit yellow, I had no idea it was even possible.
    -=Graduate: Dragon Driving School=-

    Raise your pitch forks in the air, shake 'em like ya just don't care!

  5. #5
    Registered User Array Good old Pete's Avatar
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    Aug 2002
    2010 Z1000
    oh my! What to do, what to do. Shh don't tell anyone and bury it deep in your mind.
    When speeding run from the cops, it's a lesser infraction.

  6. #6
    Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn I just ate at Subway thanks for the extra honey mustard.

  7. #7
    Ridin Dirrty Array Double R's Avatar
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    Jun 2002
    97 Blade
    What on EARTH makes your crap turn yellow??? Someone please enlighten this ignorant fool. Or is ignorance bliss?
    Ass, Gas, or Grass. Nobody rides for free.

  8. #8
    Angel Girl
    Originally posted by Double R
    What on EARTH makes your crap turn yellow??? Someone please enlighten this ignorant fool. Or is ignorance bliss?
    Breastfeeding Dear!!!! You should try it sometime!!

  9. #9
    Random Idiot Array Faded's Avatar
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    Oct 2002
    N. Delta, BC
    '02 ZX-6R
    Wow...that almost sounded like an invitation... :P Double lucky dog. haha

  10. #10
    ExPostWhoreTurnedLurker Array MavERICk's Avatar
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    Oct 2002
    Oakridge - Vancouver
    maybe, just maybe, a zx-7
    that's still funny...hahaha...

    and if 7-11 ever has blue slurpees...that makes your shit green...
    i shit you not...someone told us that, we tried it, green poo poo there was...
    R1 to rule them all, R1 to find them
    R1 to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them...

  11. #11

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