An old seafaring admiral is 75 years old and three years before that his wife died and he lost all interest in sex.
He wakes up one morning and he's horny. He's that horny he can't believe it he's beside himself. So he decides he's not gonna waste it in his hand and gonna go down to the local establishment and go in to see if he can pick up a woman.
So he walks down to the establishment, walks in and walks up to the lady behind the desk and says "I'd like to have a woman. I'm 75 years old. My wife died 3 years ago and I haven't had sex since, but I wanna have sex now".
The lady behind the desk said "Well, y'a just go upstairs and see this girl and she'll look after 'ya"
So, he went upstairs and the girl came in. He tells her the same story like about that he's a widower and all that kind of stuff.
She said, "Well, it's gonna cost y'a 200 bucks".
The rear admiral says "okay, no problem". So he paid her the money. They get in the sack and for about 1/2 hour he's going right at it. He's huffin' and puffin' and blowin' and sweat's coming off and he's just having a real ol' hard time of it.
So, finally he looks down at the girl and says "how'm I doin' sweatheart"?
She looked up at the rear admiral and she said "Well, skipper, you're doin' about 3 nots, now."
He said 3 knots??? What do y'a mean?
She said "It's NOT hard. It's NOT in. And you're NOT getting your fuckin' money back."