Gentleman's Glossary
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  1. #1
    Foecus on this Array foecus's Avatar
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    A black one

    Gentleman's Glossary

    Anal Boot [n] An anal boot is when you take a pitcher of beer, everyone spits in it, someone stirs it with his cock and then the mixture is poured through the crack of a man ass into the waiting mouth of the loser of a bet or drinking game. Also known as Anal Chug.

    Arabian Goggles [n] A seldom-seen maneuver involving the testicles where the satchel is spread wide and placed on the face of the "ride", thus resting the balls in the goggle's eye sockets.

    Australian Death Grip [n] The act of grabbing a woman by the haunches/crotch and staring deeply into her eyes until you're slapped or kissed. A recommended tactic for very crowded bars. Another great opportunity for wagering among friends.

    Bavarian Illuminati [n] Saving a load for at least two weeks and then blowing it three feet into the air to the surprise of both you and your lover as you realize that you've just cum in your own mouth.

    Beef Curtain
    [n] The shanked out remains of the labia after being stretched like Play-Doh from an hour or so of jimmy-jam (aka Beef Drapes, Meat Tarp).

    Bismarck [n] Jamming your balls in your partner's mouth and shouting , in a deep German accent – "Vere are your papers? Show me your papers! Ve have vays of making you talk!" (Rewritten – the Original Bismarck was absolutely vulgar).

    Blocking the Box [v] When you and your pal are double-teaming a chick - he's got her from behind, you've got her mouth. Selfishly, he drops his load in her, thus preventing you from using that input later (aka Access Denied Error, Road Closed Due to Bad Conditions).

    Blumpie [n] Receiving oral sex while defecating.

    Bowling Ball [v] To vaginallly penetrate a woman with two fingers while anally penetrating with one. Like the way a bowler holds a ball.

    The Bronco [n] You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girl's name. This gives you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.

    Cheswick [n] A penis that is wider than it is long.

    Choad [n] Load of jizz.

    Chocolate Cha-Cha [n] Anal Sex. Used in a sentence: "John and George danced the chocolate cha-cha all night." (aka Driving the Hershey Highway, Riding the Dirt Trail, Utilizing the Third Input, Poking the Brown Eye).

    Cleveland Steamer [n] The act of leaving a shit stain or turd on the rib cage of a woman while receiving penile pleasure from tit fucking.
    (aka Hawaiian Muscle Fuck, Pasadena Mudslide).

    Consolation Prize [n] When you take a girl home from the bar, thinking you're going to get laid, and from all of the drinks you've been feeding her all night long, she passes out on the bed right before you get your pants off. To get revenge, you jerk off and spray your load all over her back. Even though you lost and didn't get laid, the satisfaction you got is almost as good, hence the term consolation prize.

    Corn Dog [n] Very simple. Take a hot, burly beershit between a girls tits. Make her smear it all around. Then, titty-fuck her for a while. Soon, your cock will resemble a well-done corn dog.

    Coyote [n] This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore, you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of this situation. Can be very painful.

    Davy Crockett [n] A sexual maneuver in which you slip muscle relaxant into your gal's snizzpod, then slide your entire head in, thus wearing her now relaxed snatch like a coonskin cap.

    Dirty Sanchez [n] A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggy style, you insert your finger into said woman's asshole, pull it out, wipe it across her upper lip leaving , a "shitstache" if you will.

    Dirty Schultz [n] Same as Dirty Sanchez, except you give yourself the "shitstache".

    Dog in a Bathtub [n] This is the proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.

    Donkey Punch [n] Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.

    Dutch Oven [n] Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as well if you're into that sort of thing).

    Dutch Treat [n] The unexpected result of a Dutch Oven gone terribly wrong. Very messy indeed (aka "Gambling and Losing").

    Felch [v] - Felching - A gay activity when one homosexual fucks another in the ass and then sucks it out with a straw. Only included for those of you who are considering going to jail.

    Fishhook [n] A variation of the shocker in which you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.

    Fisnotegut [n] Bad smelling vagina (aka Skunkbox).

    The Flying Camel [n] A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a coyote. Strictly a class move.

    The Fountain of You [n] While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck, and tits (Better during an away game).

    Fumilingus [v, n] When a man (or woman) performs cunnilingus on a woman and she farts directly in his face.

    Game of Smiles [n] This game involves men sitting around a circular table and a woman giving random blowjobs underneath the table. Anyone who "smiles" has to buy a round of beer for the rest.

    Gibbling [v] First tie a raw piece of bacon to a string. The person getting fucked in the ass swallows it while the person riding them holds the string. At the moment of climax, the pitcher pulls the string, causing the catcher to gag reflex to kick in triggering the ass muscle to automatically clench up tight.

    Glazed Doughnut [n] The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and splooging all over her "pastry-buns", thus transforming her rump into the allusion of an oversized, quivering glazed doughnut (aka Cop's Delight, Hot Cross Buns).

    Goobin [n] One of the many wives had by an old-style Mormon who is not the main wife. The setup usually involves having your one "main" wife and the rest of your other wives who are strictly used for procreation. Hence "Goobin" - a bin for his goo. Used in a sentence: "Mary's one of John's goobins".

    Going to the Bullpen [v] The act of fingering the anus prior to having anal sex. It kind of "paves the way".

    Golden Shower [n] The act of urinating on another - sometimes right in the mouth. Any form of dropping piss all over a partner.

    Greek [v] The act of using your "glue stick" (if you know what I mean) and gluing the chick's eyes closed with your man seed.

    Grundle [n] The area between the back of the scrotum and the anus (aka Scranus and Choad in some circles). Perineum in medical circles.

    High Dive [n,v] The skill of pulling your Johnson all the way out of your partner's hole, and in one motion jamming it home again. Best used in the corn hole technique, but can be very dangerous.

    Hot Lunch [n] The result of defecating a tube of shit directly into a young girl's mouth.

    Hot Lunch (Vegetarian) [n] A variation of the Hot Lunch in which the "diner" stretches a piece of saran of wrap over her open mouth such that chewing (for texture) is possible, but no actual contact with waste product occurs (aka Dental Dam, Blue Plate Special).

    Hodge [v] To beat another with one's penis (aka Roscoe).

    Jelly Donut [n] While getting head, just before you're about to come, pull out and punch her in the nose. She will start to bleed profusely all over her mouth. Her mouth will be open, and full of blood. Then, just blow your load into the gooey mess.

    Jim Henson [v] When you fist someone and physically lift him or her off the ground. (aka The Muppet, Ass Puppet, Meat Puppet).

    Kennebunkport Surprise [n] The act of covertly filling your cheeks with chunky-style New England Chowder, and screaming in disgust as you hurl it between your partner's legs while chewing box.

    Leave-in Conditioner [n] Dollops of semen strategically left in a woman's hairdo at a public gathering following fellatio. A good lesson for those who refuse to swallow the evidence.

    Love Gun [n] Same as bowling ball except with pointer and index finger in vagina and pinky in anus.

    Mad Blumkin [n] See Blumpie.

    Matching Drapes [n] Reference to whether or not a woman's pubic hair color matches the hair on her head. Used in a sentence: "Wow what a hot looking redhead, but I wonder do the curtains match the drapes?"

    The Moose [n] The sign given to a friend (who's in hiding) while you're boning a girl from behind. It is performed by placing both hands over the head, with palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting "Hey Rocky!"

    Mung [n, v] Two people dig up the corpse of the recently deceased. One undresses the mungee and places his mouth over the labia. The other backs up and does a running jump onto the corpses chest. The second person has to eat everything that enters his mouth. Insult, seen here in context: "I'm going to mung your grandmother!"

    Mushroom Tattoo [n] This is the mark that is left a couple of days after receiving a particularly firm Roscoe/Hodge.

    Myra [n] Like Blumpie, but for a woman.

    New Jersey Meathook [n] The unusual method of inserting one's finger in the ass of your partner while screwing her, and feeling her cervix. Most effective from behind (aka Oven Stuffed Roaster).

    The New York Style Taco [n] Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you puke on her box. Happy trails.

    The Nixon [n] A Variation of The Moose in which you give two peace signs as your signal of dominance. May be enhanced by shaking jowls and yelling "I am not a crook!"

    Pasta Bar [n] very simple, really. Get your favorite pasta (spaghetti, angel hair, etc..). While you're eating her out, get her really wet. Then, start showing the hard pasta up in her. Keep getting the pasta wet, and it will soon soften to the point of edibility. Enjoy!

    Paying the Rent [v] A position in which the woman is folded in half, knees above shoulders, while the man holds the back of her calves and bangs her ferociously.

    Pearl Necklace [n] She lays on her back giving you a blowjob while you're astride, then you pull out when it's time to blow your wad and leave something resembling a nice pearl necklace all around her neck. Well known.

    Pencil Sharpener [n] A chick that gives a rough and toothy blowjob that scrapes your willy up something awful.

    Pink Glove [n] This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough. When you pull out to give her the money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.

    Pink Sock [v] The act of farting while getting your ass licked, thus opening the hole so that the licker can jam their tongue the maximum distance (aka Pink Sleeve).

    Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.

    The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.

    Reading the Defense [n] The concept of a guy making a split second decision when in a situation to score with some chick when out without his girlfriend/wife. "Reading the Defense" refers to making all of the proper "game time adjustments" as to not get caught cheating later on at some point. Having Beer Goggles on makes it very hard to Read the Defense.

    Rodeo [n] This one calls for some preparation and teamwork to be successful. Go to a bar with eight of your closest friends. Find the fattest, nastiest girl in the bar. Get her shitfaced. Take her back to your room. Before you get there, have your friends dress up as rodeo clowns and hide in the closets. Once you're fucking her, get on top and break out a stopwatch. Once you yell, "RODEO!" start the timer yourself. All your rodeo clowns burst out on cue and start jumping around screaming and taking snapshots. The test is to see how long you can stay on top of the bucking beast or how many pictures can be taken.

    Roman Chinrest [n] Make a fist with both hands and place them together, knuckles in. Now extend your thumbs, first fingers, and pinkies straight up. The point is that you rest your chin on your thumbs with your nose in between your first fingers. Then insert your first fingers into the girl's pussy and your pinkies in their ass.

    Rusty Trombone [n] The process by which one person is tossing a guy's salad, and then reaches around and gives them a hand job.

    Samoan Pile Driver [n] A sexual position that occurs when a woman's back and the bed are perpendicular, but she is upside down. The man stands above the woman and points his gig due south, simply bending his knees for repeated stroking (aka Float Valve).

    Shocker, The [n] The act of inserting a free finger deep into the anus of your partner during sex or oral pleasure, much to their surprise.

    Shop-vac [n] The act of making a chick inhale your cock from behind while you're on all fours (aka Fruit Basket, Silence of the Lambs) .

    Slimy Snachita [n] Basically the same concept as the Dirty Sanchez. Instead of shit, get your finger all bloody (she has to be on the rag) and she won't know anything is wrong until the morning when she awakes with a crusty dry-blood moustache.

    Stalactite [n] Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner with a hanging gob of loogie that you have spit at her ceiling, while you pull the covers over yourself. A variation of the Dutch Oven that can only be used away from one's home field.

    The Stranger [n] Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.

    Squick [v] To drill a hole in a person's skull and fuck it.

    Tea Bag [v] To place one's scrotum on another's nose so that one testicle lies on each side of the face.

    Texas Hot Plate [n] The "receiver" either gets under a glass table or holds a piece of glass over their head while the "giver" defecates from above onto the glass.

    Topeka Destroyer [n,v] The act of vomiting directly onto someone's head while they're performing fellatio on you (aka Cold Lunch).

    Tossing Salad [v] Tossing Salad - Another prison act where one person is forced to basically chow asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e., Jelly, syrup, Jell-O, olive oil, etc.

    Valsalva [n] The act of pinching shut (with thumb and forefinger) a woman's nose while receiving fellatio; most effective when employed just prior to the release point due to the gag reflex and ensuing swallow that the woman is forced to do to continue breathing. A great first date ploy, as it sets the stage for what the rules of engagement will be going forward.

    Walrus [n] Make a girl sneeze after giving a blowjob. The jizz will run down her face like walrus tusks.

  2. #2
    Takin it like a $10 Whore Array newbster_rider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Is there a paper back version?

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