i found this on craigslist haha
1. It is only common courtesy that you should leave the seat on the toilet UP when you are done.
2. If you are cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer, and Red.
3. Don't make him hold your purse in the mall.
4. Shopping is not fascinating.
5. When he asks for a threesome with you and your best friend, he is only joking.
6. Unless the answer is yes.
7. In which case, can he videotape it?
8. If you REALLY want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes.
9. The man is ALWAYS in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or tending the grill.
10. Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking felon from across the room is not funny.
11. Money does not equate love. Not even in Nevada.
12. Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (ie Microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time.
13. Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Accept it.
14. He heard you the first time.
15. You know, YOU can ask HIM out too... Let's spread the rejection around a little.
16. If you truly want honesty, don't ask questions you don't really want the answer to.
17. Of COURSE he wants another beer.
18. The guy doesn't ALWAYS have to sleep on the wet spot.
19. Dogs good. Cats bad.
20. Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny.