relationship points
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Thread: relationship points

  1. #1
    Registered User Array savagebovine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    New Westminster
    '06 GSXR 750

    relationship points

    oldie but a goodie...

    point system
    This is so you guys out there finally understand the "points" system....
    In the world of romance, one single rule applies:

    Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
    Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

    IMPORTANT: You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
    Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
    Here is a guide to the point system:

    You make the bed (+1)
    You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
    You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
    You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+ But return with Beer (-5)
    You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
    You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
    You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
    You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
    It's her pet (-10)

    You stay by her side the entire party (0)
    You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
    Named Tina (-4)
    Tina is a dancer (-6)
    Tina has silicon implants (-80)

    You take her out to dinner (0)
    You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
    Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
    And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
    It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

    You take her to a movie (+2)
    You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
    You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
    You take her to a movie you like (-2)
    It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
    You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

    You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
    You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
    You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
    You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

    She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT)
    You hesitate in responding (-10)
    You reply, "Where?" (-35)
    Any other response (-20)

    When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
    You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
    You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
    She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

    you might note, after having read subject literature, that we are all doomed unless we somehow master this art they call "listening." As i understand it, the male genus has developed many tricks, if you will, to 'score' points in this category. Take for example the simple "uh-huh." At the surface it may seem without merit, but when used with precision and strategem it can be of insurmountable value. It is b/c of its very simplicity that one can actually carry on with daydreaming while "listening." Secondly we look at the maneuver commonly known as the periodical diversionary tactic or PDT whereby the victim is to actually focus on the conversation for a time that is as short as possible so as to be able to formulate a cohesive phrase that acts as a sort of diversion from the fact that you may not actually be tuned in. This in turn will allow a substantial break from any actual "listening," and may even permit some momentary action such as "watching tv." Definately more complex, but the pay-off is greater in proportion.

  2. #2
    Swivel on it Array SkydiveSonic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    When she's rambling on about her day at work, throw in the sentance "I told you that bitch was crazy" - they always talk about "that bitch" at work
    If you wanna say something, speak into the mic. It's right above my balls.

  3. #3
    The Comedy is in the Back Array Saturnin's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    bro, do you even ride in a straight line? #1 asshole
    point is ..original post is waaaaaaaaaaaay to fucking long...
    Throttle Trauma 3 - Stunt riding documentary - digital download - visit
    The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

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