I wrote these lyrics to the tune of Juke Box Hero by Foreigner, for those of you old enough to remember. OK, OK I won't quit my day job. Maybe some of you can help me refine it.
Straight Line Hero
Standing in the shop, with his head hung low,
Got licence today, after giving tester a blow,
Heard the scream of a Yosh, he could picture the scene,
Pulled his head outta his ass, and like a distant scream.
He heard a redline shift, made him want to blow,
Saw stars in his eyes, and before you know,
Bought a new litre bike, zero down at 24,
Didn't know how to ride it, but he knew for sure.
That top gear rush, felt good in the straights,
Didn't take long, to learn how to shift outta first,
Just one top gear, the rest were a waste,
Didn't care about tickets, they only fueled his thirst.
So he started riding, ain't never gonna stop,
Can't brake anyway ... Oh God ... just blasted by a cop.
He's a Straight Line Hero, got stars in his eyes,
Straight Line Hero, chicken strips tell no lies,
Litre bike hero, lots of top end poop,
Straight Line Hero, rush to the front of the group.
On a road with a curve, at the end of a straightaway,
Thought he passed the group leader, in his own damned lane,
Oh shit here comes a hairpin, don't know what to do,
Still in top gear, call the ambulance crew.
Now he starts turning,
But just can't stop,
Gotta keep going,
That boy is going ... straight ... for the tree tops.
Cause he's a Straight Line Hero, payments to make,
Used to be a Straight Line Hero, bike totalled in a week,
Straight Line Hero, now he's taking up knitting,
Was fun but now he's quitting.