Well, I started the day off as any sane person would: Getting up at 7:00 to go out into the freezing cold, windy, really windy, cold, and windy (as well as cold) day to do some oil changes.
Big aspirations: Oil change on '01 Taurus, oil change on '92 Tercel, and oil change on '80 XS400. Hopefully be done by 9, maybe have a coffee, a little fun with the (now well rested) girlfriend.
I have the oil, I have the filters, I have the tools.
I have the brake cleaner.
Now for those of you that have never owned a can, or even used a can, this stuff is basically the salvation of any major screwups. It can clean anything off of anything. It's alcohol under pressure, if anything can be more awesome than alcohol, it's this stuff.
Anyhow, I digress. I go outside (cold and windy, but not rainy! Score!) and proceed to warm up and jack up the Taurus.
Before I go any further, this little bit of info: Never do an oil change on a white, manicured, clean, perfect 'adobe' style driveway. Especially when it's the landlord's.
Anyway, I pull the plug and the oil gushes forth. It was like The Red Tide mixed with The Flood - A never-ending funnel of death for any fool who chose to unleash it. That would be me.
Oil is spewing out, overwhelming the pathetic oil drain container I have (those ones that are percect for bikes are not, unfortunately, much good for cars. Shocker.) I face a quick choice: Allow the oil to pour upon the driveway, or burn the everloving christ out of my hand by plugging the molten love-hole?
I grit my teeth and stick my finger, Dutch-boy style, into the car's seeping orifice. I was foresighted enough to wear my (now ruined) Mechanix gloves, so the pain was not as bad as, say, getting married, or being mauled by a Kodiak.
So there I find myself, in the blowing wind, under a precariously balanced 3,500 pound vehicle, with boiling hot oil running down my arm and a river of black death flowing down the driveway.
The oil drain plug is in the full oil drain container.
One thought: Why me?
The other hand goes for a quick dive, and as the rest of the oil in the pan dumps onto the driveway, I thread the plug back in. Screw the oil filter, I'm not risking it. There's enough oil on the driveway to fill two cars, I'm convinced - what the hell am I going to do now?
Brake parts cleaner!!!
One hour later, I have the driveway back to its former white glory. Again, brake parts cleaner saves the day!