If Men Wrote Advice Columns...(not to be read out loud to children)
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Thread: If Men Wrote Advice Columns...(not to be read out loud to children)

  1. #1
    Moderator Array CoolDaddyGroove's Avatar
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    May 2002
    New West
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    If Men Wrote Advice Columns...(not to be read out loud to children)

    This is what they might look like:

    Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.

    A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there Is only one of you, he can only settle for the next best thing, your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you.If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

    Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

    A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then cook him a nice meal.

    Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

    A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The Man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

    Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

    A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess
    with it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal.

    Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

    A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a good meal.

  2. #2
    Registered User Array SpideRider's Avatar
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    Jul 2002
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    This is great! I'm taking this home! If I have a black eye later, you know Jewell disagrees!
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  3. #3
    Je ne suis pas Francais Array nutcracker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    none at the moment
    This is all true , it's been proven before by the most reputable sex specialist in the world that oral sex and a nice meal everyday make marriage last longer... I swear
    2010 can't affort a bike anymore
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    I'd rather be scared to death than bored to death.

  4. #4
    My fiancee is a terrible cook, so do you think it would be acceptable for her to perform oral sex on me while I cook a nice meal? She would of course do all the dishes afterward.

  5. #5
    living the dream Array BRETT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    I dont even remember
    only the best
    love it but my girl dosnt

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