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Yellow Power Ranger
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Discussion Starter #1
These are some questions that people around the world have been asking about Canada. Most of these were asked on a tourism website. The answers are obviously a joke...but the questions are real.

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants
grow?(UK)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch
them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad
tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a
list of them in Toronto, Vancouver,
Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA
)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Ca-na-da is that big country to your
North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the
rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure,
the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races.
Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can
you sell it in Canada?
(USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
population is smaller than the male
population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year
round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is
illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its
name. It's a kind of big horse with
horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the
brains of anyone walking
close to them. You can scare them off by
spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
 

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Right on. I get crap like that all the time from clients in the US. It was fun after a while then you just roll your eyes and think :imwithstu

Hmm. Gotta dig out that I am Canadian commercial again.
 

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Fast Pack Slow Guy
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Sitting poolside in L.A., I had two blondes completely convinced that there was a 13 foot high wall of snow at the Canadian border and you had to trade your car in for a dog sled. I explained that I lived in an igloo and I went to work in a bigger igloo.

Of course, there's the story of standing on Queen St. in Toronto in the middle of July and the car with New York license plates pulls up with a ski rack loaded with skis. The driver asked where the ski hills were. He was told that the ski hills don't have any snow this time of year. So he says "but I was watching the weather report in New York and they said that it was 30 degrees in Ontario!"
 

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Yellow Power Ranger
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3,009 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
Tattoodles said:
Sitting poolside in L.A., I had two blondes completely convinced that there was a 13 foot high wall of snow at the Canadian border and you had to trade your car in for a dog sled. I explained that I lived in an igloo and I went to work in a bigger igloo.

Of course, there's the story of standing on Queen St. in Toronto in the middle of July and the car with New York license plates pulls up with a ski rack loaded with skis. The driver asked where the ski hills were. He was told that the ski hills don't have any snow this time of year. So he says "but I was watching the weather report in New York and they said that it was 30 degrees in Ontario!"

Hahahaha, good stories!
 
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Tattoodles said:
Of course, there's the story of standing on Queen St. in Toronto in the middle of July and the car with New York license plates pulls up with a ski rack loaded with skis. The driver asked where the ski hills were. He was told that the ski hills don't have any snow this time of year. So he says "but I was watching the weather report in New York and they said that it was 30 degrees in Ontario!"
sadly, that's not a story. saw it a few times while travelling to buffalo.

my favourite is being asked if i know bob from where ever. usually from regina. sas-katch-e-wan.

my answer was always yes, had lunch with him last week!
 

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Tattoodles said:
the ski hills don't have any snow this time of year. So he says "but I was watching the weather report in New York and they said that it was 30 degrees in Ontario!"
bwahahahahahah!!!!!!!
 

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Working the races at Laguna Seca, I was asked if we had motorcycle racing in Canada. When I said "yes", he then asked if we had enough ice-free days to make it worthwhile. I said "yes" again, those three days were the most appreciated time of year. We called them summer.
 

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Yellow Power Ranger
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3,009 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
jetshoes said:
Working the races at Laguna Seca, I was asked if we had motorcycle racing in Canada. When I said "yes", he then asked if we had enough ice-free days to make it worthwhile. I said "yes" again, those three days were the most appreciated time of year. We called them summer.

Oh hey Debbie...I didnt even notice that you post on BCSB! HI!
 
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