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contradiction incarnate
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Discussion Starter #1
As some of you may have seen, I started a thread titled "lend me your baby" at about 2AM.
I went to sleep after seeing about the first 6 posts.

Apparently it degenerated into a flamefest and was deleted before I logged back on at about 1:30PM.

I started a thread asking one of the moderators to PM me, but I didn't get into any details.
I then got flamed by a moderator in that thread.

To clarify, I posted this thread.


It all started some time back when a female friend of mine had an idea for a big time practical joke on my parents.
There was a friend of her sister's that looked like she could be the offspring between my female friend and I.
The age was completely wrong, but it was the inspiration for the prank.

My friend suggested to me about how funny it would be if I came home with a baby and told my parents it was my kid.
Being from a pretty traditional Indian family is where it really gets interesting.
My parents are really old school and want to set up an arranged marriage for me.
If I was to show up at home with a baby that looked like a cross between me and a white female friend of mine and told them it was mine, they would probably have a total meltdown.

I actually gave the idea for the prank some serious thought.
I have a few friends that have children that would easily trust me with them.
Unfortunately, none of them fit the necessary visual description.
Basically, I don't know anyone with a kid that would allow me to pull off the prank successfully.

The thread about Fizzer-femme looking for a roommate got me thinking about how the prank would possibly get me kicked out of the house if my parents took it really seriously.

Anyways, I then got the idea to start the "lend me your baby" thread as a bit of a joke that might lead to some interesting back and forth banter about the prank and maybe something along the lines of how parents trust people to take care of their children.
It was not meant as anything serious.

It is strange though, that some parents feel totally okay about entrusting their child/children to someone who is practically a complete stranger.
I mean, how much do you really know about the neighbourhood babysitter or daycare worker you leave your child/children with?
 

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So just to clarify... you started a thread, got flamed for it, it got deleted, so you're starting again?
 

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contradiction incarnate
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Discussion Starter #4
just posted up for some clarification, as suggested by someone on the board who's opinion I respect.
 

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Hahaha.. I see where your coming from.. I also from a traditional family and always wanted to pull off a prank like that.. When I was on a trip I met this girl and her family, any ways the girl has a son that very young and the whole family said he looks just like me.. since his dad is not around every time he would see me he thought i was him and he would say Daddy daddy.. I thought I was funny.. I hoping they will come and visit this summer and I could surprice my parents but say “ Remember that trip I went on.. well this is what happened and introduce the kid” Lol..
 

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I was sure you weren't serious and had a good explanation.
... either that or you took a bigger swig of some cold medicine than you thought.
 

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contradiction incarnate
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Discussion Starter #7
thanks for the vote of confidence Phil :thumbup
 

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Now dude, if you had started the thread with these details, perhaps things would've gone another way. I don't agree with harps calling you out, but I have to admit I'm not in disagreement with him about the actions in said thread.

As a parent myself, giving my kid to someone in a thread like that.. dude.. you have no idea. That would *never* happen. Now if I knew you, and you had posted up like you had now.. I think that'd be much more possible (although still highly unlikely in my opinion - kids arn't for rent, they become your life).
 

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An interesting social commentary though, don't you think?

Young folks from a traditional immigrant family wanting to shock their poor old parents.

We've all done it: long hair/no hair/pink hair, tattoos, piercings, outrageous clothing, attitude, motorcycles, leather girls/leather boys, whatever it took to get under our parents skin.

This one is a little bit "out there". It has huge potential to blow-up on you and create a serious rift in your family which is never good unless of course you really want to disassociate yourself with your family.

I've been to Indian weddings, man you don't want to mess up with your family.

Buy your mom some flowers instead.
 

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slam said:
The thread about Fizzer-femme looking for a roommate got me thinking about how the prank would possibly get me kicked out of the house if my parents took it really seriously.
Was this prank intended to get yourself out of living at home and some pre-arranged marriage??

Weird, can't you just move out. . . .
 

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contradiction incarnate
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Discussion Starter #11
adamantium said:
Now dude, if you had started the thread with these details, perhaps things would've gone another way. I don't agree with harps calling you out, but I have to admit I'm not in disagreement with him about the actions in said thread.

As a parent myself, giving my kid to someone in a thread like that.. dude.. you have no idea. That would *never* happen. Now if I knew you, and you had posted up like you had now.. I think that'd be much more possible (although still highly unlikely in my opinion - kids arn't for rent, they become your life).
The original thread was really a bit of a joke about the prank.
I figured it might lead to some interesting conversation.
I never even had any intention of carrying the prank out.
I really didn't expect someone to volunteer a child either.

The big mistake, I guess, was posting it at a time that I couldn't keep an eye on it as responses rolled in. I went to sleep. I only saw about the first 5-6 posts.

Adam, I'm not sure about how many kids you have or how old they are.
Some of my friends have 3-4 kids each. When they get to an age that you aren't spending every moment with them in your presence, things get a little different.
Day care and babysitting are the reality for most parents these days.
Sooner or later, most parents do leave their children with people they likely don't know that much about.
How many parents that use those services really do any background research on the caretakers?
One of my friends even teaches elementary school kids. She's great with kids all around. I honestly do have a really good grasp about having kids around and parenting well. I'm not a parent myself, but I'm around it quite a lot.

As for Harps being a moderator and throwing around some pretty slanderous insinuations, I think there's something seriously wrong there.
Since that second thread is now gone, I'll leave it at that.

I do think that moderators deleting/locking threads should just PM the person posting and avoid secondary threads being started.
 

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contradiction incarnate
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Discussion Starter #12
redrommel said:
Was this prank intended to get yourself out of living at home and some pre-arranged marriage??

Weird, can't you just move out. . . .
The idea for the prank came from that line of thinking from my friend.
(as in, if you really want to get kicked out...)

I had no intention of actually carrying the prank out.

If I was going to move out, I would just say so and do it.
 

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I think we usually PM users.. but it depends. And a secondary thread just makes people angry. Harps is a renegade, but he's a good fellow with a good head on his shoulders - perhaps you struck a chord.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
I don't know the guy personally, but "renegade" seems like an understatement based on the word choice in question.
Being a forum, there was even opportunity to take care in what was being put down before hitting "submit".
If it was verbal, it would be a little different. People blurting things out a little differently than what they actually mean is not that uncommon.

edit: the secondary thread was only asking for a moderator to PM me, nothing more.
 

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slam said:
I don't know the guy personally, but "renegade" seems like an understatement based on the word choice in question.
Being a forum, there was even opportunity to take care in what was being put down before hitting "submit".
If it was verbal, it would be a little different. People blurting things out a little differently than what they actually mean is not that uncommon.

edit: the secondary thread was only asking for a moderator to PM me, nothing more.

Exactly. You could have avoided all of this in the first place by following your own advice.

If you want a mod to pm you just pm them first there is absolutely no need to start a thread about it. Nothing hard to do there.

Most of the time people on this board realize why their threads get deleted. They either break the rules or their thread so dumb that we just delete it. Post a thread without a specific date and time? Deleted. Post too often in the buy and sell section? Deleted. Come on and spam the board with insurance crap? Thread locked.

We sift through it all and keep the board clean of all the crap that you may or may not see to keep running smoothly as possible. Forgive us if we don't pm every single person who's post or thread we delete. Next time PM one of us and we'll gladly explain or better yet think about what you are posting and how it sounds to the rest of the board.
 

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contradiction incarnate
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Discussion Starter #16
20/20 hindsight, eh flowrider?

I didn't have an issue with the thread being deleted, I was curious as to what happened.
If I'd known which moderator deleted it, I certainly would have PM'd them instead of starting a thread asking to get a PM from them.
Slanderous insinuations, however, are not something to be taken lightly.
 

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I know it's not really kosher to reply to locked thread, but I have to...

slam said:
I don't know the guy personally, but "renegade" seems like an understatement based on the word choice in question.
Being a forum, there was even opportunity to take care in what was being put down before hitting "submit".
If it was verbal, it would be a little different. People blurting things out a little differently than what they actually mean is not that uncommon.

edit: the secondary thread was only asking for a moderator to PM me, nothing more.
I knew exactly what I was saying, you were being an idiot and needed to be called on it. I was also not the first person in that thread to use the 'P' word in reference to your request. I've asked the moderator who deleted your (2nd) thread if I can restore it...because I would love for it to stand as a testament on how to NOT post threads these forums.

If you want a PM with an explanation, send the moderators a PM! Is that so hard? When I want to talk to someone, I don't put out a broadcast message...I give them a phone call.

Before you go on a rampage saying that this was just a joke...go talk to someone who has had personal experience with pedophilia or child molestation, and see how they feel about that thread. Are you beginning to see why someone may get pissed off at that thread???

slam said:
The big mistake, I guess, was posting it at a time that I couldn't keep an eye on it as responses rolled in. I went to sleep. I only saw about the first 5-6 posts.

I do think that moderators deleting/locking threads should just PM the person posting and avoid secondary threads being started.
You say you only saw the first 6 posts, but three of those first six were yours. The thread had already degenerated at that point, you had plenty of opportunities to explain yourself...but you didn't. That's your fault, you have no excuse

As for moderators PMing users...you'll be sent a PM when a thread is deleted, IF it is a valid thread to start with. Yours, on the other hand, was trolling. We don't PM trolls.
 
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