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~Flying Swan Hot Chick~
Joined
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366 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
1. Men are like.....Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Men are like....Bananas.....The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like ........Weather.....Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like......Blenders ....You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like......Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips

6. Men are like .....Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like ....Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Men are like ......Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like ....Mascara......They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like.....Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like ......Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like..... .Lava Lamps ..... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like..... Parking Spots ...... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped
 

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Juicy
Joined
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146 Posts
Man oh man and this forum is suppose to be about "riding tips and tricks":devillook

Nikki why you have to go and start things!!! Yanno I gotta put it my 2cents

Don't get it twisted I love men (well most) however I think most ladies will recognize that these statements have been true at one time or another.....:flashy

Men are like SPILT MILK not worth crying over :flashy

Men are good for one thing, and how often do you need to parallel park? :devillook (okay maybe good for moving your bike)

If it has tires or testicles you're going to have problems with it. (surprise, surprise)

The only good men are dating each other. (yeah I live in Kits)

If a man is standing alone in the woods and says something...is he still wrong? (he's alone in the woods for a reason ladies)

The problem with most men is they are assholes. The problem with most women is they put up with those assholes (dont be that woman!)

Men have two faults-everything they say and everything they do. (atleast while there awake...lol kiddin)

Both men and women are fallible. The difference is, women know it (I rest my case)

No matter how good he looks, some girl out there is sick and tired of his bullshit (Hallelujah!)

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. :rockon

Men: Women get mad over the stupidest things! Women: Yeah! MEN!

When your ex gets over you in the blink of an eye, you know it was right to dump him and say Buh Bye.

Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships


Men will always lie about 3 things: I love you...... the check is in the mail...... and I promise I won't cum in your mouth.

I think---therefore I'm single


When a man shows you who he is, believe him (especially if he makes you cry)

I love you is 8 letters and so is bullshit

I wish we were back together for just one night, so I could push you out of my loft bed while you were sleeping.

When another girl steals your guy, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him :flashy

"You're not a man; you have no spine and you can't be held responsible for anything."

“Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating! :eek
 

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V Lister
Joined
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4,277 Posts
do i detect a lil hostility in the chicken coop?:laughing
 

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Hockey Trev
Joined
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284 Posts
2 can play this game :devillook

Woman - A Chemical Analysis

Element : Woman
Symbol : Wo
Atomic Weight : Accepted as 118, but known to vary 105-175.Woman
Discoverer : Adam
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower
concentrations in Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to seasonal
fluctuations.

Physical Properties :
a) Surface usually covered with painted film.
b) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
c) Melts if given special treatment.
d) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!
e) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
f) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

Chemical Properties :
a) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many precious stones.
b) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
c) May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates.
d) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in
alcohol to a certain point.
e) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.
f) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.

Uses :
a) Highly ornamental, especially 2-up on sportbikes.
b) Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
c) Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
d) Can cool things down when it's too hot.

Tests :
a) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
b) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Caution :
a) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling.
b) Illegal to possess more than one.
 

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Are we there yet!
Joined
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723 Posts
:laughing Is this what you're talkin' about
 

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banned user
Joined
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6,255 Posts
yeah we are messed up, you got us figured out. Unfortunatly we rule the world, so get in the kitchen and bake me a pie.
 

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Ridin hard n dirty
Joined
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4,080 Posts
A poem for you gals.......

Everyday I give thanks to the Goddess

I have two mounds upon my bodice

I shave my legs, I sit down to pee

I can justify any shopping spree

Not to a barber, but a beauty salon

Can get a massage without a hard on

Can balance the checkbook, pump my own gas

Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass

I always save money by using coupons

Can admit to others when I am wrong

Don't drive in circles at any cost

So I don't have to admit when I am lost

Don't act like I'm in a timed marathon

Every time I go to the john

Let me tell you men

Listen to me boys

Those things in your pants

That you treat as toys

You love them more then we ever will

We would rather suck on a cold pickled dill

I spend two hours preparing for a date

Only to find you're two hours late

I don't watch movies with lots of gore

Don't need instant replay to remember the score

I won't lose my hair

I don't get jock itch

And just cause I'm assertive

Don't call me a bitch

I don't wear the same underwear everyday

The food in my fridge has no sign of decay

I don't go to Sears

To look at the tools

I don't cheat at poker

I follow the rules

I don't smoke cigars

Don't pay for drinks at bars

I don't punch my friends just to say "Hi"

And it's o.k. for me to cry

I know all you men

Think that you're "IT"

But compared to a woman

You just ain't SHIT!
 

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myside.yourside.myside
Joined
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2,095 Posts
A poem for the two lady posters above :)

.. by dh lawrence

P E A C H

Would you like to throw a stone at me?
Here, take all that's left of my peach.

Blood-red, deep;
Heaven knows how it came to pass.
Somebody's pound of flesh rendered up.

Wrinkled with secrets
And hard with the intention to keep them.

Why, from silvery peach-bloom,
From that shallow-silvery wine-glass on a short stem
This rolling, dropping, heavy globule?

I am thinking, of course, of the peach before I ate it.

Why so velvety, why so voluptuously heavy?
Why hanging with such inordinate weight?
Why so indented?

Why the groove?
Why the lovely, bivalve roundnesses?
Why the ripple down the sphere?
Why the suggestion of incision?

Why was not my peach round and finished like a billard ball?
It would have been if man had made it.
Though I've eaten it now.

But it wasn't round and finished like a billard ball.
And because I say so, you would like to throw something at me.

Here, you can have my peach stone.

-----

Cory
 

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banned user
Joined
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6,255 Posts
If one more man posts up a poem I am going to lose it. You two above, please surrender your man cards immediatly.

I seldom stop in here to visit the ladies, but it seems when my back is turned guys are in here being all sensitive and shit. I will need to keep a more watchful eye on you two.

Unbelievable!
 

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~Flying Swan Hot Chick~
Joined
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366 Posts
Discussion Starter · #14 ·
If one more man posts up a poem I am going to lose it. You two above, please surrender your man cards immediatly.

I seldom stop in here to visit the ladies, but it seems when my back is turned guys are in here being all sensitive and shit. I will need to keep a more watchful eye on you two.

Unbelievable!
:laughing :laughing :laughing
 

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myside.yourside.myside
Joined
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2,095 Posts
If one more man posts up a poem I am going to lose it. You two above, please surrender your man cards immediatly.

I seldom stop in here to visit the ladies, but it seems when my back is turned guys are in here being all sensitive and shit. I will need to keep a more watchful eye on you two.

Unbelievable!
Thanks dude, I'll try to shake it off. It's good to know someone has our backs :) I don't know what came over me, perhaps it was the overpowering estrogen scent...

Anybody can have a weak moment ... or a weak year.. decade..

Cory
 

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banned user
Joined
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6,255 Posts
Thanks dude, I'll try to shake it off. It's good to know someone has our backs :) I don't know what came over me, perhaps it was the overpowering estrogen scent...

Anybody can have a weak moment ... or a weak year.. decade..

Cory
Hey no worries Cory, you know I am just doing it because I care about you man. Now go out and slap some random hotty on the ass and say "whats up?".

Remember boys, hide that intelligent, caring and sensitive side. Save it for when you need something like sex or dinner.
 

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Ridin hard n dirty
Joined
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4,080 Posts
If one more man posts up a poem I am going to lose it. You two above, please surrender your man cards immediatly.

I seldom stop in here to visit the ladies, but it seems when my back is turned guys are in here being all sensitive and shit. I will need to keep a more watchful eye on you two.

Unbelievable!
OOps...sorry ...wont happen again...

WTF was i thinking???

Oh....it was the Booze talking......ya thats it ...the booze....
 
G

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Men are like teddy bears, no brain but soft and cuddlie.

Women are like instraments, relaxing but expensive.

Are we all happy now?
 

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banned user
Joined
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6,255 Posts
Men are like teddy bears, no brain but soft and cuddlie.

Women are like instraments, relaxing but expensive.

Are we all happy now?
Women relaxing?

Women are more like, say.... One of those boot camp excercise programs.

Expensive, hurts like hell, but somehow you think its good for you...like you read it in a magazine or something and your friends all say things like "good for you, I wish I had the discipline to do that."
 

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Registered
Joined
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1,661 Posts
great thread nikki lol
 
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