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4,472 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
For his birthday, little Johnny asked for a 10 speed bicycle.
His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job.
There's no way we can afford it.'
The next day the father saw little Johnny heading out the front door with a suitcase.
So he asked, 'Son, where are you going?'
Little Johnny told him, 'I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling out.
Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too.
And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage and no fucking bike.

Wanderer of the Wastes
6,795 Posts
Fast forward a few years;
Lil' Johnny's mother wins the post-divorce custody battle, so he lives with his mom. He's still bitter about it; he never did get a fucking bicycle.
Then one night, he gets up to go to the bathroom, and walks past his moms room. The doors open a crack, and he hears his mom 'making sounds'.
He peeks in and sees she's naked and sprawled out, rubbing between her legs, groaning 'oooo I need a man'. Shocked by what he's seen, he hurries off to the can, then tip-toes back to bed.
Less than a week later, same thing; midnight run to the bathroom, door open, sounds heard within. But it's different this time. He peeks in, and sees a man on top of his mom, and it appears they're playing at some sort of naked wrestling. Shocked again, he runs back to bed.
The very next night, mommy goes to tuck lil' Johnny in, and as she gets to the door, it's open a bit, and when she looks in, there's Johnny, rolling around on his bed, naked, rubbing himself, moaning, "ooooo I need a bicycle" ....
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