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This is long but very informative. My grief counsellor sent this to me when my husband passed away:


WHAT MAKES A PERSON VULNERABLE?
Some people are predators and choose their prey by homing in on vulnerability. Everyone has vulnerabilities such as:

  • the need to pay the mortgage
  • the need to support children through school and college
  • being the sole breadwinner
  • being single and not having anyone to support you on a regular basis
  • living alone and having no-one to turn to at the end of each day
  • because you care - about your work, about your clients, about your work colleagues, about your company or organisation, about your family, and about people
  • having integrity which you are unwilling to compromise or sacrifice
  • being scrupulously honest
  • being reasonable and with a strong sense of fair play
  • having a well-developed sense of guilt
  • having caring responsibilities at home, eg an elderly relative
  • having a child with special needs or who needs special care
  • caring for a disabled partner or family member
  • experiencing separation or divorce
  • caring for a dying partner or relative
  • undergoing bereavement
  • suffering grief during the mourning phase following bereavement
  • having a great deal of locked-up anger resulting from bullying, harassment, domestic violence, stalking, abuse etc
  • being unable to change job, eg limited job opportunities, being a specialist
  • belonging to an ethnic minority
  • belonging to a minority group
  • having a different sexual orientation
  • having a different cultural background
  • having a different religious belief
  • suffering an illness, whether related to work or not
  • suffering an injury, whether it be at work, as a result of work, or outside work
  • having a disability or perceived disability
  • being female in a male environment
  • being male in a female environment
  • not having English as your first language, or not having the national language as your first language
  • being too old, or too young


    • HOW DO I RECOGNISE A PREDATOR ?

      Most bullying is traceable to one person, male or female - it is not a gender issue. Predators are often clever people but you can be clever too.

      Who does this describe in your life?
      • Jekyll & Hyde nature - vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target sees both sides
      • is a convincing, compulsive liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment
      • uses lots of charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present; the motive of the charm is deception and its purpose is to compensate for lack of empathy
      • relies on mimicry to convince others that they are a "normal" human being but their words, writing and deeds are hollow, superficial and glib
      • displays a great deal of certitude and self-assuredness to mask their insecurity
      • excels at deception
      • exhibits unusual inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters or sexual behaviour; underneath the charming exterior there are often suspicions or intimations of sexual harassment, sex discrimination or sexual abuse (sometimes racial prejudice as well)
      • exhibits much controlling behaviour and is a control freak
      • displays a compulsive need to criticise whilst simultaneously refusing to acknowledge, value and praise others
      • when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of others, responds with impatience, irritability and aggression
      • often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person, in contrast to their behaviour and treatment of others; the bully is oblivious to the discrepancy between how they like to be seen (and believe they are seen), and how they are actually seen
      • has an overbearing belief in their qualities of leadership but cannot distinguish between leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, trust and integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness, aggression, distrust and deceitfulness)
      • when called to account, immediately and aggressively denies everything, then counter-attacks with distorted or fabricated criticisms and allegations; if this is insufficient, quickly feigns victimhood, often by bursting into tears (the purpose is to avoid answering the question and thus evade accountability by manipulating others through the use of guilt)
      • is also ... aggressive, devious, manipulative, spiteful, vengeful, doesn't listen, can't sustain mature adult conversation, lacks a conscience, shows no remorse, is drawn to power, emotionally cold and flat, humourless, joyless, ungrateful, dysfunctional, disruptive, divisive, rigid and inflexible, selfish, insincere, insecure, immature and deeply inadequate, especially in interpersonal skills
      Hope this helps...
 

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I think girls on BCSB should help each other........Girl's look out for one another I'd hate to see any of you turned away from this community by the action of the few creeps on this site..
Great advice Bill.

As the "recently absent" moderator of this ladies forum; I would encourage our BCSB ladies to speak to your fellow female riders about your fellow riders (male and female) if you have any concerns at all. There A LOT of amazing people on this site, but just be safe and watch out for the ones that aren't so amazing.
 

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Some people are predators and choose their prey by homing in on vulnerability.
Great info on the warning signs. They are very much the same characteristics of an agressor in an abusive relationship.

People are right in stating that this is basically a site that is open to everyone in the public. And unfortunately, some people will take advantage of the good vibes of the genuine, good members here and use it to their advantage... whether it's to gain people's trust in ripping them off or guys preying on women here.

As with meeting or connecting with anyone from any internet site, always use caution. People can be whoever they want to be on a keyboard behind a monitor.
 

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v twin
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do it the Irish way, run the bas stuards over on yer bike ladies and ask questions later.
 

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RS 03.08.74 ~ 02.11.06
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do it the Irish way, run the bas stuards over on yer bike ladies and ask questions later.
It's never a good idea to piss off Irish people...

What part of Ireland are you in? I am first generation Canadian. Mom was from Belfast, Dad from Dublin. All my extended family are still over there...
Great place to live!
 

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RS 03.08.74 ~ 02.11.06
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Hey Zoltan,

It's good of you to apologize if you think you have offended anyone. And it is true that you are one of the most crazy/ angry/ sexually inapropiate people i know:laughing ...but that said you are also a good person with a great heart. You are loyal to your friends and family and above and beyond talking about what you do with your thumbs... you are harmless. I vouch for that.

And most importantly, your behaviour on this forum seems angelic next to the guys this thread is talking about. Some pretty brutal stuff has been going on around here.

Rachel
 

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RS 03.08.74 ~ 02.11.06
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#2: What did happen? I'm pretty vague on the actual story. Names need not be mentioned but what happened that the cops needed to be involved? Is this that SBW thing?
It isn't just one story. As Adam said, some incidents have been dealt with and members banned for it. But there are also current incidents involving a few seperate members.

The guys know who they are and have been warned by police or the moderators on this board.

To my knowledge, the girls involved don't want to name names, they just want to be left alone and enjoy the use of this forum in peace.
 

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Its sad but with todays society, it was only a matter of time.

Sorry, I agree with Corvette boy and disagree with you. He is asking what happened and we should all know. We don't need names, dates etc, just a quick rundown of what happened. IE said guy followed said girl and left notes etc?
Why should you all know if it doesn't specifically concern you? We do not want to start a lynch mob. Is it not enough to know that it's serious enough that Adam had to write a warning to all the female members. When we mean serious, well, it's serious enough to have police involved and permanent bannings.
It's not the same here when you first joined. The community is much larger and not everyone knows each other. As such there are good people and bad people.
 

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A.F.G 02.18.88-01.08.06
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Lately I've been thinking this site should have an age restriction or something implemented...18 above content. That way people accept the warning when they are here...its by their choice... but theres the same stuff happening with women to young boys...so don't point all the fingers at the men ;)
 

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RS 03.08.74 ~ 02.11.06
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Lately I've been thinking this site should have an age restriction or something implemented...18 above content. That way people accept the warning when they are here...its by their choice... but theres the same stuff happening with women to young boys...so don't point all the fingers at the men ;)
When the moderators start getting complaints and police investigations about specific women on this forum, I am sure they will post a warning thread for you guys too.

Until then, this is why this thread was posted in the WOMEN'S forum. For women to read about specific men on this site who have crossed the line.
 

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A.F.G 02.18.88-01.08.06
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chick alert

When the moderators start getting complaints and police investigations about specific women on this forum, I am sure they will post a warning thread for you guys too.

Until then, this is why this thread was posted in the WOMEN'S forum. For women to read about specific men on this site who have crossed the line.
Actually I am a woman.... sorry for the confusion..and I am speaking in to relation that I have a 15 year old son who likes to view this forum and view the content of provactive pictures and language on the site... IT's COOL in his mind... .. only making a suggestion bout the 18 year old and over content warning...that way the site would be covering their azzes...
 

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RS 03.08.74 ~ 02.11.06
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Actually I am a woman.... sorry for the confusion..and I am speaking in to relation that I have a 15 year old son who likes to view this forum and view the content of provactive pictures and language on the site... IT's COOL in his mind... .. only making a suggestion bout the 18 year old and over content warning...that way the site would be covering their azzes...
OOOPS - Sorry fooltalker about the assumption...
 

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Ridin' Dirty
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Well as i am not the one involved as a victim, i am not at liberty to discuss details of the 2 cases that i am aware of, but in light of what has happened the general public will be informed of the details in more depth from the two victims in short notice.


For those that want to know a small part:
As of Monday morning at around 10am thor was placed under arrest and the police have placed a criminal harassment charge against him.
He if I'm not mistaken is supposed to spend the night in jail tomorrow, and will be before a judge in the morning to be giving his conditions as far as the restraining order goes.

the details about who this case is about will be introduced in due time. but for the moment, thats all can say.
For someone that is not at liberty to discuss details you sure have a big mouth and seem to have harrassed a few people on here yourself.
 

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Well as i am not the one involved as a victim, i am not at liberty to discuss details of the 2 cases that i am aware of, but in light of what has happened the general public will be informed of the details in more depth from the two victims in short notice.


For those that want to know a small part:
As of Monday morning at around 10am thor was placed under arrest and the police have placed a criminal harassment charge against him.
He if I'm not mistaken is supposed to spend the night in jail tomorrow, and will be before a judge in the morning to be giving his conditions as far as the restraining order goes.

the details about who this case is about will be introduced in due time. but for the moment, thats all can say.
Really, that's odd cause when Thor wasn't in the hospital all day monday he and I were hanging out yesterday and today. Odd considering that he is in jail. I suggest that you don't talk about stuff you don't know. Can or should I say already has got you in trouble.
 

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Woof?
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For someone that is not at liberty to discuss details you sure have a big mouth and seem to have harrassed a few people on here yourself.
Not at liberty to discuss because i dont have the evidence in front of me. the facts are just that facts.
But I'd rather have those involved share there story.


For the victims the reality is real and like any case, its an uphill battle trying to get people to see the victims side when all they have seen is a mask from those that have caused all the harm.
 

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BTW I have harrased tons of women because my wife wanted a threesome....fucking ban me bitches....this politically correct bullshit is stupid...this fucking site is stupid ....and all ya all are fucking losers that have nothing better to do....I'm off this joke of a site....fuck all ya! Prolly women are pissed off coz they didn't get a big stiff one in 'em! HAHAHAHA...
 

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Not at liberty to discuss because i dont have the evidence in front of me. the facts are just that facts.
But I'd rather have those involved share there story.


For the victims the reality is real and like any case, its an uphill battle trying to get people to see the victims side when all they have seen is a mask from those that have caused all the harm.
yeah yeah yeah.....but sometimes the victim is the one attacking....
 

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women have it easy they just say fuck you you'll do what I say or I'll charge you
 
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